I've been VLC with uNd/EnD for a while now. I really want a relationship with him, but he's of course supporting the abusers, so I don't have a choice but to keep a vast distance. Recently, we had lunch as he was traveling through town back to his state for business. I live in a city, and insisted on masks and SD, as I know we disagree on almost everything.
I was pleasantly surprised he agreed, happily wore his mask, agreed I should be concerned since I live in a large city. WE had a mostly good conversation otherwise and it was having me feeling really good about our short get together and sad when he left. I'd love to be able to have lunch with him on Sundays or once a month, or something more like I see happening for my friends who have more functional parents.
Well, but THEN, when he went back, he posted all this whackadoodle "conspiracy" type stuff on his FB saying all the "hysteria" about masks is so not necessary, and how he joined an anti-mask campaign where he lives. (Also, GCs caught Covid by not wearing a mask around an elder client who also didn't where a mask who wound up giving it to her, and having it pretty bad.) GCs has two vulnerable children as well, yet dad still is TOTALLY on board with the campaign to not wear masks?
THis has happened before a few time. One where we had just had a conversation about my G who molested several of us kids, and how no one believed us. I said that is why no one tells, because you already know whether people in your life will listen to you. After that he posted things in support of a politician who molested someone in earlier life saying "why didn't she bring it up at the time?" She did, but no one listened.
So, the fact that he does this really makes me think he is not the poor, sweet, kind, funny, childlike dad everyone sees him as. This feels really horrible to me, and like a highly narcissistic trait. He not only shifts to agree with whoever he's around, he says things directly supporting the opposite of the support he just showed his daughters. It makes me feel really stupid I had all the feels when he visited.