Physical Illness as Manifestation of Negative Image/Thinking/Believing

[EdenJoy1]

From infanthood I've been plagued by physical illnesses that just got even more compounded due to the *treatment* I'd receive, if it were removal of glands, vaccinations, antibiotics and the constant feeding of fat and sugar. At 11 I began experiencing pain in my spine, then at 12 diagnosed with scoliosis, which I feel is a condition that's hereditary (family all has structrual problems) but more, that due to my mother's depression and the fighting during the 9 months of gestation, I was squirming during my spine's formation causing this. At 12 I was forced to wear a brace that was like a metal contraption, but I wouldn't. Then my nose began bleeding, then I had boils all over my body. That was just the first 12 years of my life.

Now I have hyperparathyroidism, fibroids, cysts and degeneration throughout my spine. I also have been suffering from superventricular tachycardia events, one this past week which my heart goes to up to 200 bpm. I've been at the ER so many times this year but I cannot do this anymore. There has to be another way. In most likelihood, everything is connected back to my spine, with a problem in the neck area which brings with it the gland problems and also the nerve that innervates the heart. I try really hard to care for self. But it's not enough for in relationship one heals apparently and this is the catch-22. I have lived in isolation for so long I simply have no ability to get to that level and am stuck. Today is a hard day to get through. Feel so heavy and out of it. A week that has been especially hard both physically and mentally.