Something I Want Others to Know About CPTSD is ...

[Kizzie]

Something I want therapists and govt/private health care funders to know is few professionals and funders provide enough or specific treatment for CPTSD/Relational Trauma. Given CPTSD is the result of ongoing relational trauma we need relational trauma strategies (among others) to recover. This requires more time and commitment than 8 sessions of CBT so more funding needed!

[Kizzie]

Something I want medical/MH professionals AND survivors to know is ....

...ongoing relational trauma not only results in psychological injury, but physical comorbidities also that are debilitating/life threatening (e.g., diabetes, cardiac disease, cancer, inflammation, addiction, obesity ...). 

[OceanStar]

Something I want others to know about CPTSD...

...sometimes talking is not helpful a problem shared is not a problem halved. I do not talk to you because I don't like you it's because it will not help, it will cause my symptoms to become worse.

...you can never know what's it's like, accept that I may begin to be able to trust you.

[Not Alone]

There is no finish line. When you ask me if I'm making progress, it gives me the message that you want me to be the "put-together" person that I show to the world. I am changing and growing and there are internal shifts, but it is slow and winding. Just accept me where I am. Don't expect me to reach a finish line that doesn't exist for me.

[Not Alone]

Even when you don't know what to say, hearing &/or showing that you care about me, does help.

[Bermuda]

To random people who don't think before speaing:
I would want people to know that it's not all in my head.
It's not something to be gotten over, and that no amount of putting the best foot forward will make the past disappear.
No amount of smiling will outshine the past.

The effects are very real, and it's not to get anyone's attention.
I don't want attention. I don't want to have to explain myself.
I don't want to be a pariah, or to be seen as unwell, because I am well.
I am normal. My life story is my own, and it's not a lie, and it's
not something for you to judge... Is my affliction proportionate to
the  suffering I endured? It's not your place to tell me.
It's not helping me. It's nothing I haven't heard before.
And yes, I have considered how my abusers feel.

[marta1234]

And yes, I have considered how my abusers feel.

[Three Roses]

I'd like others to know that cptsd is manifested in the brain and body; the damage is physiological and neurological and therefore cannot be healed by "thinking differently". That I'm not a weak person for having been affected, in fact I'm strong because I've survived it.

[Bella]

This is an old thread, but I wanted to write something anyway
What I want others to know about CPTSD is... how debilitating it can be, and how much it actually affects the way survivors think and feel. There is actually a reason it's so hard to truly trust someone. There is a reason for why my insecurities and fears skyrockets the closer I get to another human being. I truly long for real friendships, but my insecurities push everybody away... intense pain!

[blue_sky]

What I want my parents to know about CPTSD is... I know it happened a long time ago but it's still very fresh in my head and I can't just "forgive" because your religion says so. It doesn't get better when I am busy. It's just that you don't witness it when I'm busy. And please stop asking me "what can we do to make you feel better?" If i had that answer, i would do that myself. And don't be ashamed of my "poor health". Just because I need some sleeptime after doing a task doesn't mean I am a weakling. I can actually do more tasks because I have my sleeptime to pull myself together.

What I would looooveee my work colleagues to know about CPTSD is... Just because you have a lot of sick leave and never take a sick day doesn't make you stronger or bigger. Stop glorifying coming to work when you're sick. I have to take sick days almost every week/fortnight but I do compensate when I am at work and get the tasks done.

[Saluki]

Something I want therapists and govt/private health care funders to know is few professionals and funders provide enough or specific treatment for CPTSD/Relational Trauma. Given CPTSD is the result of ongoing relational trauma we need relational trauma strategies (among others) to recover. This requires more time and commitment than 8 sessions of CBT so more funding needed!

Something I want my mother and her toxic family to know is that I was never "pretending to be disabled". I couldn't "just get a job" because I already had CPTSD from their abuse and neglect, but due to having insufficient help or therapy for my needs I ended up in another violent abusive relationship that further traumatised me.

I didn't become addicted to substances for FUN! It was a trauma response and a coping mechanism.

No one grows up with the childhood dream of becoming an IV addict.

I couldn't have "just got a job". I wasn't "taking the money from real disabled people who needed it".

I was, and still am incapacitated by the long term effects of CSA, SA, child neglect, child abuse, DV...

And just because I refuse to be a victim doesn't mean I can heal on my own.

And just because I got help for my addiction doesn't mean I'm okay now.

And just because I had an addiction doesn't make me an untouchable.

(Damn, I knew I was angry, but I only came to say "Exactly "!

[Bermuda]

Saluki, although you and I coped in different ways, I feel and relate to those sentiments so well.
You were disabled. It is debilitating. Addiction is real, just like trauma is. It's not your fault.
Everyone wants to do well, to be well.

I wanted to add to my original reply to the thread:
I want other survivors to know that it does get better, even though the past will always be the past. It's as if you see the world in tunnel vision when CPTSD is at it's worst, but as time goes on and you begin to heal and get yourself in a good place, you are able to see the tunnel. You can step outside it, and look at it. It's still there, but you are not trapped in it.

I want professionals to know that no amount of will-power or reframing can make someone with CPTSD take a step out of the tunnel and see it for what it is. There is no amount of strength that can silence CPTSD. The more you try to convince someone to be strong, the more it triggers the shame and the silencing and the self-distancing that IS CPTSD.

We need the compassion and understanding from ourselves and others.

[Saluki]

Wow, thank you Bermuda.

I very much appreciate your words. It's good to be understood. Not many do.
That immense pressure to be okay is overwhelming. I can't do it any more.
I have been off disability for 6 years now, desperately trying to be okay and failing miserably. I wanted to prove to people that I could succeed at life but in reality I just ended up in poverty because I can barely afford to pay the rent. In the process of applying for PIP at the moment and feeling like an imposter even though I'm barely functioning. I feel like a robot trying to go through the motions. Hearing that really helped. Thank you.

[Kizzie]

Complex relational trauma and Complex PTSD stay with us over the span of our lives. It doesn't go completely away, we just learn how to manage it.

[Fraying]

Damn, I knew I was angry, but I only came to say "Exactly "!

I so relate!