What I'd Like Kizzie to Speak About at the Trauma Summit is ...

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Blueberry

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Re: What I'd Like Kizzie to Speak About at the Trauma Summit is ...
« Reply #15 on: October 03, 2020, 10:23:31 PM »
Kizzie, I'm going to copy a post of mine from the Blog "The Iceberg is Tipping" from 2018 with the addition that I'm underlining the messages for therapists or other practioners:

In my healing journey, I’ve encountered quite a number of therapists who were probably out of their depth with me for one reason or another. Some were trauma-informed, some not. Some of these told me I was ‘resistant to therapy’, one told me I was wasting state money, others that I was wasting their time.

So please, therapists and other medical personnel or social workers, if you find yourself out of your depth, be honest, don’t blame the client. Please tell him/her to find a therapist who is better qualified for cptsd or who has more experience, or even help him/her to do so.

I’ve also encountered therapists or other inpatient personnel who refused to listen to my “No.” or “Stop.” They went right over my boundary and triggered me into a terrible state. In one case I even said that something terrible was going to come up if they pushed me into a certain situation. They pushed me in anyway, thus breaking my resistance, and then couldn’t deal with the result, which was a) that I couldn’t stop crying and b) I didn’t trust them much any more and c) I refused to lie down or sleep for several nights.

So please remember with cptsd due to childhood abuse and neglect, you’re dealing with clients whose boundaries were violated in one way and another regularly in childhood. Part of healing is learning to say “No”, learning to set boundaries, even in a therapy or medical setting.

If you find yourself agreeing with my inner critic (my internalised parents) that I'm "difficult" or you can’t bear to see me silently weeping, please get co-counselling or be honest as above.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2020, 10:26:10 PM by Blueberry »

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Blueberry

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Re: What I'd Like Kizzie to Speak About at the Trauma Summit is ...
« Reply #16 on: October 03, 2020, 10:59:07 PM »
In addition to my post immediately above this, I've just watched a really good video from one of these free trauma summits on 'Trauma and the Therapeutic Alliance' by Lisa Ferentz. The talk is actually for therapists or other clinicians but I was nodding lots of the time and/or thinking "that's why therapist M. or therapist Z. or ...acted the way they did and that's why it was so harmful to me and my process". She really gets it from a client perspective but has empathy with the therapists too.

Idk if it's possible to pass along my recommendation to the summit - please check Lisa Ferentz' work or even just her website! She discusses the transference and counter-transference going on in a therapeutic relationship and stresses the existence of traumatic (counter-)transference within the therapeutic relationship, can explain to practitioners how to recognise when traumatic (counter-)transference is getting going, and how to get back out of it. She also emphasises depathologizing, particularly in respect to clients showing suspicion, defensive behaviour and being hypervigilant in the therapeutic relationship. The practitioner should please not even think to themself 'this client has BPD'. A traumatised client is not capable of leaving their defenses in the waiting room, especially if there's deep trauma - cptsd trauma as opposed to ptsd - so that's why the client acts suspicious and defensive.

Kizzie, you probably don't have the time or energy to or maybe even interest in checking any of Lisa Ferentz' work out. Which is totally fine and understandable. You do tons of advocacy work anyway plus your current situation... But wow I was just thinking  :yeahthat: :yeahthat: :yeahthat: throughout this video.

p.s. I have started writing my notes here https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=13769.msg105703#msg105703
« Last Edit: October 04, 2020, 12:41:08 AM by Blueberry »

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Kizzie

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Re: What I'd Like Kizzie to Speak About at the Trauma Summit is ...
« Reply #17 on: January 05, 2021, 07:30:09 PM »
OK, I have the date for my presentation (an hour long on March 27th) and am going to get working on it starting in the next day or two.  So, if you'd like to add anything else in the next week or two please feel free.   :yes: :thumbup:  This is our chance to let trauma clinicians and researchers know what we need/would like them to hear.

When the draft Powerpoint is done I'll post it for feedback (in about 4-6 weeks likely as my H's stroke rehab is still taking up a lot of my time and energy).

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Bermuda

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Re: What I'd Like Kizzie to Speak About at the Trauma Summit is ...
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2021, 11:51:59 AM »
If I could teach people about trauma, especially people who are in direct contact with survivors, I would start with these things:

I live with autoimmune disease and CPTSD, as a lot of us do. I wish people understood somatism as something that is real, and not something in our heads. It's 2021 and we know now, for a long time, that somatism IS real and it's not the same as hysteria, which is a term that people don't even use anymore because it's so terribly offensive. The things people describe, and the pain they experience IS happening, and there are REAL mechanisms for it. Seriously, the first time I saw a doctor and they told me that my (actual arthritis) was simply somatic and therefore didn't deserve treatment, and I had no idea and started to doubt myself. It made me feel overly dramatic and guilty for even going to the doctor, which was a VERY difficult thing for me to do in the first place. It took me several more years of bloody stool until I couldn't bend my legs at all and I fainted on my computer to seek treatment! I have no idea the actual long-term damage that has been done to my body because I had long-term severe untreated hypothyroidism. In short, because I was distressed by my symptoms, a medical professional saw my distress and told me that my distress was because I was distressed, which led me to not seeking help, and more potentially life-threatening distress. I wish my situation was isolated, but SO many survivors seem to share similar experiences. So, somatism. It's not "all in your head", and if it were so is everything. People with headaches can get treatment, but people with trauma and headaches often can't? Hmm.

Self-diagnosis also, I think you touch on this somewhere in the board. It's worth a mention. In my case, I was aware of my PTSD symptoms for a very very long time before I sought counsil, and it would have been astronomical if I hadn't developed CPTSD given the circumstances. No one needed to tell me, and those around me knew too.

Stigma. I think what was hard for me years ago was the stigma that because I was a survivor, people assumed that I was going to be an abuser. When survivors search for help online, they just get bombarded with statistics about "the apple not falling far from the tree", or drug use... There are people who may go this way, they perhaps need the most help, but I am not an abusive person and never will be, and to be faced with this assumption constantly made me fear myself. My first therapist persisted that I must have explosive rage and tried to push that on me. I now know that those with CPTSD typically do not have that symptom, as opposed to those with PTSD. I have no rage, I'm essentially a human worm, but I thought that my abuse was something that I would pass down like a bad gene. I had night terrors about myself and an abuser.

I guess lastly I would talk about different types of abuse. Learning about human rights law, I learned about how all rights are inalienable, interdependent and indivisible, which means that a right to life is just as valid as a right to live freely, and that they rely on each other. I apply this notion to survivors. There is not one type of abuse that is worse than another, or more valid. One victims trauma is not measureable to another. When survivors, especially early on are looking for help, they may find that their type of abuse is not talked about publicly, and feel that their suffering is disproportionate to what they experienced and therefore not valid. There is one type of abuse that comes up repeatedly on medical websites, I will not name it, but there are many many forms of abuse. I guess what I mean is that we are all valid, whether we live with crippling symptoms from an abuse that others may think is mild, or whether we seem fully functioning in public, or whether we are victims of THAT sort of abuse. It doesn't matter. We all deserve all of our rights and to have all of our needs met. Denying one creates a domino effect.

...If the world understood those things, I think we would be much better off...

(I edited this to make my experiences and feelings more poignant.)
« Last Edit: January 06, 2021, 01:31:49 PM by Bermuda »

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Bella

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Re: What I'd Like Kizzie to Speak About at the Trauma Summit is ...
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2021, 11:53:00 AM »
What a great opportunity!
I haven't had the energy to read all the other responses, so someone may already suggested this, but anyway:
The first thing that comes to mind is how devastating trauma is! That it basically interfere with every aspect of life! Many people, many clinicians even, seems to have no idea of the true effects and impact of trauma.
I think it's important to adress how it actually is a brain/nervesystem injury, and how this happens and why. Getting an understanding of the whole physiological aspect of it, is so important when it comes to finding the right treatment.
To me, my "inner world" is what mostly makes life unbearable from time to time. Having the sensation of not being one whole person, but fragmented into different parts, having to deal with the constant conflicting wants, thoughts, feelings etc is extremely exhausting, and wears me down emotionally, mentally and physically. Having absolutely no tolerance for any type of stress, and also every other symptom of this horrible condition. We can look so good on the outside. Infact that can in a sense be a coping strategy, cause the whole shame-aspect would otherwise drown you in certain social settings and situations.
The intensity of everything...! Intense feelings, intense pain, intense reactions... The hopelesness! All of this needs to be understood in order to truly be able help.
Trauma is also much more common than people think, that's why it's important to "get a seat at the table ". When it comes to treatment, I think some form of "bodywork" is important, as trauma sits in the body. The body keeps the score!
Maybe the most important thing for clinicians to learn and know about, is how crucial empathy is in a therapeutic setting. Validation for the survivors feelings and experiences. I struggle a lot with trusting myself and my own feelings and perception of things. In order for me to find some peace from chaos and confusion, I need someone to tell me that what I experienced was  accurate and appropriate thoughts and feelings for particular settings. This is all about emotional dysregulation I guess...
I have to stop now,  but might come up with other things later.
You're doing a tremendous important job, Kizzie! Thank you!

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Blueberry

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Re: What I'd Like Kizzie to Speak About at the Trauma Summit is ...
« Reply #20 on: January 07, 2021, 06:47:39 PM »
OK, I have the date for my presentation (an hour long on March 27th) and am going to get working on it starting in the next day or two. 

When the draft Powerpoint is done I'll post it for feedback (in about 4-6 weeks likely as my H's stroke rehab is still taking up a lot of my time and energy).

 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Because you reminded us and even more because you are going to go through with this despite all you have on your plate with your H and his rehab.
 :waveline: :yourock: :chestbump: :you are the woman: (i think that's on OOTF but not here)