[Purdue83]

Hello there,

I wanted to share how gaslighting and abuse can be so damaging to someone especially in the workplace. I was a victim of this as well as other things in the workplace. I won't get into too much of my story, but it has caused catastrophic damages. Almost 4 years later, I am still suffering and I wake up everyday wondering why this happened to me and suffering lifelong damages. As I reflect, I realized that my workplace thought I was an easy target because I was too nice.

I am a Medical Doctor and I took a Hippocratic Oath to Do No Harm and all my Superiors and supervisors did was intentional harm to me even when I asked for help and went to HR.

I should be on the front line helping in the COVID pandemic, especially when there is a shortage of doctors. Instead, I am waiting for the results of my federal lawsuit which I filed 3 years ago and got the right to sue 2 years ago. My employers even put libel in my file saying that I had significant learning deficits when I have never been diagnosed with any learning deficits in my life. My psychologist has never diagnosed me with any learning deficits either. This could prevent me from other jobs even. 

My case is currently with a federal judge, and there are many layers to my case that I won't get into. These people that did this to me not only ruined my career but they ruined my name and life intentionally with no just cause. 

I have had a lot of time to reflect and over 3.5 years of trauma therapy has put it into perspective. I am a type of person that turns my pain into power and my wounds into wisdom.

The best advice that I can give if you ever feel powerless or trapped in a situation is always stand up for yourself. Whether you're 0 to 100, adult bullying and abuse are just like kids on the playground that you have to stand up to. It's not okay for someone to abuse anyone. Abusers love to play the victim and gaslight and don't let them get away with this. Set boundaries with them and stand up for yourself and pursue the legal way if you have to like I had. These people left me no choice but to sue them.

What bothered me the most is that they ruined my name intentionally and I'm someone that had pristine evaluations and a wonderful reputation. There are days where I regret being too nice and I was a victim of narcissistic abuse and people in positions of extreme power over me and they took it to their advantage.

From now on I will no longer feel powerless. I have a voice and all of you do too. I will make sure what happened to me won't happen to another innocent person, and I pray laws are changed because of my case.

CPTSD and PTSD are not caused by yourself, they are caused by the circumstances and all of us are innocent victims of it.  Abusers love to gaslight and say victims are crazy, but the only people that are crazy are abusers. Abuse is not okay and I will always stand up against it whether it's sexual. physical, or emotional. The best way to not get revictimized is to set boundaries and stand up to your abusers, and do it legally like I did if you have to.

All of my best to all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

[Kizzie]

One the biggest problems I've found as a survivor of N abuse is that perpetrators don't see themselves as abusive, and if they belong to a high status or powerful sector like medicine, others don't or choose not to see their behaviour as abusive either. It leaves us having to fight to hold them accountable and often losing because they have more power, status and importance.

I do see quite a lot of  medical students and MD's on Twitter calling out senior medical personnel for their treatment of juniors/students so you're not alone.  It certainly sounds like many have forgotten or never understood the oath they took to "Do No Harm".

Sorry you're going through this but I hope you take some comfort from knowing there are many others in your field calling for change. 

[Purdue83]

Thank-you for your support Kizzie. I’m blessed and lucky that I have powerful  organizations on my side that have helped me regarding my case, so I’m grateful for that. More attention is definitely being brought to light regarding abuse in the medical field and how high the suicide rate is for physicians annually.  There are even documentaries on this. The more one can shine a light on it the better. Doctors should be healers, not abusers. All fields not just the medical field needs to stop abuse in the workplace. Stopping abuse will prevent suicide as well as mental health issues in most cases. My case is an extreme one that is a federal lawsuit and is still ongoing and the scary thing is I’m sure there are others like me out there who weren’t able to get the right to sue like I was. Approximately 400 doctors kill themselves annually and this definitely needs to stop. Luckily, this is being brought more to light and I pray it will continue to be brought to light. I agree with you regarding Narcissistic abuse and people need to be called out for it. I was also a victim of other types of abuse in the workplace as well which was pure horror and disgusting.

[rainydiary]

I appreciate you sharing as it is helping me recognize that the extent to which I am experiencing gaslighting in my job.  I haven’t ever labeled the ways I am dismissed by others when I ask for help as gaslighting but it is.  I need to explore this further but appreciate you helping me come to this.   Being stuck in my trauma has led me to put up with a lot and as I heal from it I am seeing so many places where I have let things slide that were just not ok. 

[Purdue83]

I'm so sorry rainydiary that you have to go through what you are going through. I pray you can heal and will continue to do so. CPTSD and PTSD are constant battles and some days will be better than others. However, if we understand more what happened to us, it definitely helps the healing process and starts to make some sense. I agree with you in that I look back and I realized I was way too nice in situations where I should have stood up for myself better and set boundaries. I know I can't change the past, so I try to learn from it and move forward. I also surround myself with positivity only which helps the healing process as well. Any person that has been a negative influence in my life such as an abuser or a toxic person, I have no contact and I don't deal with them. Life is too short to be around negative and toxic people. I always feel that the weak are trying to sabotage the strong and I don't allow abusers to be part of my life. Abusers are weak people, and I always remember that I'm way stronger than any abuser, which is probably why myself and most people were targeted on the forum in the first place. Life is too short for malignant narcissists, manipulators, gaslighters,  psychopaths, sociopaths, Machiaevellianism, Abusers and just plain evil people. If for some reason anyone has to be around these types of people eliminate as much contact as possible. Also, always stand up to them and set boundaries so they realize that they can't get away with abusive behavior with you. Most likely they will go on to their next victim. I feel like abusers always pick out their victims thinking they are stronger. With me my abusers had no idea that I would stand up to them legally and federally sue them for all of the lifelong damages that they caused me. I'm a strong believer in karma and I know good will always prevail over evil. There is a God who sees and knows all.

[Three Roses]

I'm very sorry to hear what's happened to you, Purdue. It's mind-boggling to see what people are capable of doing to each other. I see that since you've made these initial posts, you've deleted your profile - I hope you come back with a new one and get some more support. Take care.