Angry Dreams?

[WhiteNoise]

It seems like I'm only able to get angry, like, really angry, in my dreams. You know that one John Mulaney bit where he says that someone could pour a hot bowl of soup on his lap and he would apologize? Yeah, that's pretty much my waking self. It's probably unhealthy how much pride I take in not reacting to things that should cause me anger.  And I'm not talking the little things either, as a NYer there is definitely a bit of a thick skin that builds up, it's a natural part of living here, but I didn't get angry when someone who I thought was my friend told me to drop out of school multiple times.

I remember what I thought that day too: "Oh well, that hurt, but she's probably just having a bad day." There were some inner-critic comments dabbled in there as well, but those probably don't bear repeating.

Anyhow, the point is I've been at this so long I legit find it very difficult to get angry, but sometimes, when I dream, I'm suddenly irate, kicking and screaming (not at people, more like a tantrum on my bed sort of thing).  Sometimes I even wake up in tears with whatever managed to set me off in my dreams.  More often than not they're about my dad, and I'll just yell and yell and yell at him, but not always.

I get why my subconscious does it, I'm pretty pent up, but when I wake I don't feel any better.

[Kizzie]

Ive been having more angry dreams of late and I've personally come to the conclusion it's me trying to tell myself to let a bit more of that out in my daily life. Anger is a self-protective, boundary setting factor we all need but many of us have learned to stuff it down, in some cases wa-a-a-ay down 

Anyway, healthy or clean anger is what I'm aiming to express these days; clearly and calmly stating when I feel like someone has overstepped. It's a work in progress but I hope it will mean my angry dreams will subside. 

Hope this was helpful 

[WhiteNoise]

Thank you! I hope I can work toward improving my anger response someday, but it's probably gonna take a while.  I know it's important to practice healthy regulation of anger, to tell people calmly when they've wronged me, but I really wish I could blow up, just once, to know what it feels like.  That's probably not the best idea though, lol!