Self-Help Activity 1: Techniques to identify anger and the reason for it

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VeryFoggy

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Oh wow Ano, Now I am so angry for you and this horrible acting colleague! I've got my speech for this person already all lined up in my mind!  And it flowed effortlessly! And I realized why.  Because when I was the boss, I had confidence, I knew I was responsible for keeping the peace in the office, and I had to learn how to do it and I had a great deal of confidence in my ability to do the job.  So I need to bring that same level of confidence of my "rightness" into my personal life as well.  But here's my speech anyway for what it's worth. I'm calling him "Joe".

Joe, I called you in today to talk to you about your attitude in the office.  Your attitude is inappropriate and disruptive to the office.  You are perfectly entitled to have your own thoughts and feelings about your abilities, and if you choose to feel superior to someone who is experiencing misfortune again that is your right.  But I will not tolerate you sharing those feelings and thoughts out loud in the office any longer.  Again it is disruptive, unprofessional, and inappropriate. And whether you can understand this or not it is insulting and hurtful behavior.  I want you to know that your intelligence and your contributions to the work in this office will be recognized or not recognized, solely depending upon your performance and your achievements against the goals that were set for you at the beginning of the year.  But you need to know that your added commentary is not contributing to my belief that you have what it takes to perform in this office. So I suggest you think about what I have said and come back and meet me next week and let me know what your decision is and whether I can expect a change in your attitude towards your colleagues. If you do not decide to accept my offer I will be recommending that you find another place in the organization better suited to your qualifications.  But if you decide to stay and do not change your attitude?  I will be putting you on a performance improvement program. And as you know I can structure that program in any way I see fit.  So I suggest you do some serious thinking about what is important to you. Let's meet next week and discuss this again. Do you have any questions?

Yep.  That is exactly what I would say.  Now I just need to bring that sense of "rightness" into my personal life!