Shame and intelligence

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Blueberry

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Shame and intelligence
« on: August 27, 2020, 09:01:33 PM »
From this conference topic on shame https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=13719.msg104605#msg104605 I learnt that toxic shame/being shamed makes you go into freeze and your IQ goes down 20 points while you're stuck there.

I asked my T this morning if that sounds plausible. He says it does, though in some cases it may be more than 20 points (in other cases presumably less).

That explains to me why I felt dumb for most of my teenage years with just a few glimpses when I was able to access my intelligence and realise 'I'm not dumb after all!' I think it became more noticeable to me when I was in high school, so 12 yo onwards.

Anyway, I thought this information might interest others on here.

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saylor

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Re: Shame and intelligence
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2020, 05:52:36 PM »
Thank you for sharing, BB. Very interesting and makes a lot of sense to me, as I have generally felt my brain going offline (and causing me to lose my tongue or otherwise do something dumb or fail to act how I would’ve done best to act) in response to sudden/unexpected shaming. And that ends up breeding even more shame!  :aaauuugh:

Also, thanks for the notes in your other thread. Inspired by what you posted, I checked out the Center for Healing Shame website, and there are some great resources there. I especially liked this page: https://healingshame.com/self-help

I have lots of work to do to tackle my pervasive shame, which is fueling depression and really awful to live with, so this is timely.  :)