Self-Help Activity2:Safe anger expressions-physical,verbal, direct, intellectual

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VeryFoggy

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I recently found out that the Narcs in my family view my NC as an attempt to manipulate them into doing something.  It was absolutely astounding!  My reasons for NC are to protect my sanity and myself!  Period!

But upon further reflection I understood (if you can believe that I understood the mind of a PD) why they would think such a thing.  And it is because if THEY went NC with anyone?  It would be a manipulation ploy, just a tool to try to get what they wanted from the other person. it would be a control thing and they would have no feelings or emotions about it.

So even my NC is misunderstood by the PD's, and they think it's a joke, just something I am doing to try to manipulate them.  They have no understanding of the grief, and loss, and the mourning that accompanies my decision to go NC. The sadness that what I hoped we could have can never be and never even existed.  They simply cannot understand it.

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anosognosia

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I recently found out that the Narcs in my family view my NC as an attempt to manipulate them into doing something.  It was absolutely astounding!  My reasons for NC are to protect my sanity and myself!  Period!

But upon further reflection I understood (if you can believe that I understood the mind of a PD) why they would think such a thing.  And it is because if THEY went NC with anyone?  It would be a manipulation ploy, just a tool to try to get what they wanted from the other person. it would be a control thing and they would have no feelings or emotions about it.

So even my NC is misunderstood by the PD's, and they think it's a joke, just something I am doing to try to manipulate them.  They have no understanding of the grief, and loss, and the mourning that accompanies my decision to go NC. The sadness that what I hoped we could have can never be and never even existed.  They simply cannot understand it.

Totally! In the end, for Narcs, it's all about them and how things affect them!

Also, usually when someone has a theory on someone else's behaviour, it's usually thought out within the paradigm with which THEY would think & operate.  Like you said, the only way they would understand NC is as a manipulation tool. 

Ugh, so frustrating. So infuriating.  I wish you as much mental and physical distance that circumstances allow VF!!!!!!     


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C.

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More proof that it's always about them.  They cannot see or understand you.

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marycontrary

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Thank you guys for the kind words. I learned to set boundaries when during a life threatening crisis, I realized that relying on my family would get me more damaged or even killed. It came down to that fact that I wanted a life worth living. It was worthless, I was suicidal, very much in despair. I am also a scientist and I  knew that reading Al Turtle. Ross Rosenberg, Pete Walker, etc, etc...that I had to do it or life would not be worth living.