Can't go on

[Geeky Gramma]

I am trying to find my Hope tonight,  and I just can't find it.  It's too hard,  for too long.
My body hurts,  my mind is overwhelmed,  and I'm sinking into darkness. I am discouraged beyond words.  It's hard enough to be trying to find healing from CPTSD.  It's hard enough to be marinating in narcissistic abuse.  It's enough to separated from my husband, and living in the same house,  and have my heart break a little more every day.  It's enough that my father is a narcissist,  my husband is a narcissist , my son is a narcissist.  It's enough that I'm so depressed that I'm barely functioning.  It's enough that I'm getting triggered every day trying to manage everything.  But all these things at one time?  Excruciating.  Intolerable. I am wracked with emotional pain.  And all this while a pandemic is making my world even smaller.  I don't have the energy to act like I'm ok.  I'm NOT ok.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know where to go.  My pain is so very great.  I can't do this. 

[marta1234]

Hi GeekyGramma. I wanted to send you a supportive hug if it's ok. I know that this is barely enough, and I know that the pain you're feeling is terrible and too much. I'm sorry I can't help much, except send you so much support and love (if it's ok) to you and hoping that some day your day won't be that exhausting.
I feel you, GeekyGramma, and I'm sorry you're in this kind of situation. Please take care of yourself. Sending many hugs and a blanket to help soothe (a bit) of the pain (if you want). 

[owl25]

This sounds incredibly overwhelming. It is too much for a person too handle. Is there anyone in your life you can think of that you can reach out to for support and help? Someone who can help you come up with some sort of plan towards feeling better? Even though our situations are different, I was in a pit of hopelessness and helplessness these past few days. Speaking with my new counsellor helped me see a glimmer of hope and a possible way through to a better place. Looking at the big picture is way too overwhelming, what are little things you can do to that will over time build up and get you to a different place?  I know that is a lot to ask for you to come up with those, which is why an outside perspective can really be helpful. Someone whose mind isn't stuck in the fog but who can see clearly.