Affirming Person-hood

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Eidolon

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Affirming Person-hood
« on: September 26, 2020, 03:31:09 AM »
I'm comfortable enough now to say "the things that happened to me were wrong, no matter who was doing it."

It's like a weight off my shoulders. Friends, family, strangers- it doesn't matter who, or why. It was simply wrong and I need not tolerate it anymore. Setting boundaries, I've realized, isn't abusive. Saying "no" isn't abusive. It's my right to say "no." It feels odd saying that, but it's true. My emotions are my own, no matter how fragmented they are. I think the most startling thing is understanding I'm not "broken" and I don't need to be "fixed." So many people were certain I was just crazy when it was trauma. Well, I'm awake now to know otherwise. It's rejuvenating. I'm a person. Not a pet, not a toy, and not insane. A traumatized person. It all feels much simpler.

All living things are intended to flourish. I'll make like a dandelion and grow in the concrete if I have to, but I know I never have to accept being abused ever again.  ;D

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Three Roses

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Re: Affirming Person-hood
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2020, 01:45:41 PM »
I love this!!  :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

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gravity

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Re: Affirming Person-hood
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2020, 03:01:05 AM »
This is a wonderful self-affirmation.  I think I'll incorporate some of this spirit into myself, too.  Thank you for sharing.

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Eidolon

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Re: Affirming Person-hood
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2020, 04:42:42 AM »
Thank you both for being supportive <3 I'm glad my healing could help other people. I'm really grateful for that! I hope your days are good!

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Kingfisher

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Re: Affirming Person-hood
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2020, 04:18:44 PM »
Hey Eidolon,
Hear hear! Só true and important what you wrote: to, finally, be able to say, wholeheartedly 'the things that happened to me were wrong, no matter who was doing it'. To have done away with minimizing, 'understanding', explaining, bringing up socalled extenuating circumstances etc. I have been doing that most of my life, at the cost of... myself.
Wrong IS wrong. Cruelty IS cruelty. Abuse IS abuse. And wanting to know the 'reasons' for it is, in the end, futile ánd a hindrance to ourselves, to our lives.
Yes, you ARE a person. And, please, flourish!

Kingfisher

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Kingfisher

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Re: Affirming Person-hood
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2020, 04:25:49 PM »
I came across the text below today, on  http://alovinghealingspace.blogspot.com
and found it só beautiful, deeply resonating.

Love will never give up on you

Early relational experiences are encoded in neural circuitry in the first 18 months of life. Stored as implicit memory, they are inaccessible by ordinary awareness, forming templates through which we engage the world. In a moment of activation, the templates come surging online. Before we realize it, previously sequestered material has flooded our perception.

Our expectations in relationship – whether we can count on others, are worthy of love, will allow another to matter or whether we can take the risk to lead with our vulnerability – are organized in a fragile little nervous system that yearns for connection. The neural pathways are tender and responsive, as we seek attuned, right-brain to right-brain resonance with those around us. We want to feel felt, have our experience held and mirrored, and for pure space in which we can explore unstructured states of being.

While this encoding is deeply embedded, it can be rewired. While it may feel entrenched, it is not as solid as it appears. Even if your early environment was one of empathic failure, developmental trauma, and insecure attachment, it is never too late. The wild realities of neuroplasticity and the courage of the human heart is unstoppable and an erupting force of creativity.

Through new relational experiences – with a lover, a friend, a therapist, a baby; a star, a mountain, the moon, an animal-guide from the other world – love is hidden inside the caverns of neural circuitry. It is the substance which forms the neurons and their synapses, lighting up heart-cells in a moment of connection. Each time you attune to another – or to the unmet inner “other” within you – a new world is born.

As long as breath is present, you can update the narrative, recraft your perception and re-envision a new story. You can make new meaning of your life, re-imagine your purpose, and renew your commitment to being here. Slowly, you can revise your circuitry with pathways of holding awareness, flooding it with empathic attunement, presence, and warmth.

No matter what is happening in your life, you can start right now, in this moment. The opportunity for reorganization is always here and wired deep within you. Don’t give up. Love will never give up on you.

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Eidolon

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Re: Affirming Person-hood
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2020, 09:36:14 PM »
I came across the text below today, on  http://alovinghealingspace.blogspot.com
and found it só beautiful, deeply resonating.

Love will never give up on you

Early relational experiences are encoded in neural circuitry in the first 18 months of life. Stored as implicit memory, they are inaccessible by ordinary awareness, forming templates through which we engage the world. In a moment of activation, the templates come surging online. Before we realize it, previously sequestered material has flooded our perception.

Our expectations in relationship – whether we can count on others, are worthy of love, will allow another to matter or whether we can take the risk to lead with our vulnerability – are organized in a fragile little nervous system that yearns for connection. The neural pathways are tender and responsive, as we seek attuned, right-brain to right-brain resonance with those around us. We want to feel felt, have our experience held and mirrored, and for pure space in which we can explore unstructured states of being.

While this encoding is deeply embedded, it can be rewired. While it may feel entrenched, it is not as solid as it appears. Even if your early environment was one of empathic failure, developmental trauma, and insecure attachment, it is never too late. The wild realities of neuroplasticity and the courage of the human heart is unstoppable and an erupting force of creativity.

Through new relational experiences – with a lover, a friend, a therapist, a baby; a star, a mountain, the moon, an animal-guide from the other world – love is hidden inside the caverns of neural circuitry. It is the substance which forms the neurons and their synapses, lighting up heart-cells in a moment of connection. Each time you attune to another – or to the unmet inner “other” within you – a new world is born.

As long as breath is present, you can update the narrative, recraft your perception and re-envision a new story. You can make new meaning of your life, re-imagine your purpose, and renew your commitment to being here. Slowly, you can revise your circuitry with pathways of holding awareness, flooding it with empathic attunement, presence, and warmth.

No matter what is happening in your life, you can start right now, in this moment. The opportunity for reorganization is always here and wired deep within you. Don’t give up. Love will never give up on you.

This is beautiful! There was something I read recently that called C-PTSD a generational curse to break. We're learning new things and forging our own paths, and we're healing. We're being our own heroes. I think there's something wonderful about that. It's like making art out of life itself. Art in motion, worthy of being admired and cherished, and delightful in our own ways. That's the most wonderful thing of all: we are our own artists and every bit of self care is like another brush-stroke on a painting.  :cheer: