Loneliness

Started by Gromit, October 06, 2020, 05:25:44 PM

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Gromit

Is this common? I think it probably is.
Walking my dog this morning, as I always do, people do stop, in fact, someone had wound down their car window specifically to speak to me about their dog, and then I carried on walking with another dog walker, who was on their way to meet someone else, with a dog. As it turns out they were meeting someone I know, a mum, whose daughter was in the same primary school class as mine, our daughters had been friends then. Off they went, together.
I went on my normal walk, sometimes I see people and walk with them, or stop and chat sometimes I don't, nothing is pre-arranged as their walk was. No one makes 'dates' with me, I don't suppose I make dates with them either, it seems difficult, I fear rejection.

I feel I should be grateful for the people who do want to speak to me, however, briefly. There was one man I used to walk with quite a lot, he even called at our house to show my daughter his new puppy when she was ill. He seems to have changed his walking habits over lock down. However, there is a pattern with my normal walking acquaintances, they are generally male and 70+

G

Rainydaze

Walking the dog is such a good way to get some interaction. I'm awful at making and keeping friends and inclined not to do so because it overwhelms me, plus it's a struggle to be 'switched on' and fun enough to encourage people to want to be friendly with me. I'm OK with it and have never felt a need for many friends. When I have had friends I've always coped so much better with just one or two special people rather than juggling a large group. For this reason, when walking it can be really nice to see people and to have a pleasant chat with no expectation of having to make it a regular thing or commit to a friendship. I think it works well because as you say, a lot of people do seem to want to say hi and stop to talk. It does seem to fill a small gap if you're feeling lonely.

marti.325

It's hard to see other people making their way in the world, whether with marriage, or friends, or groups, or in their chosen career, when I feel unworthy. But who inflicted that on me? My family system, my parents' inability to love and nurture me when I was totally dependent on them - from infancy through all the developmental stages. At each one I needed them and they weren't there. I was expected to already know, to be "responsible", to just do it without guidance.

It's very sad and I've grieved a lot over what I lost, no, what I never had. A difficult road with lots of  :fallingbricks: and  :stars: and  :Idunno: and  :spooked: AND  :pissed: Yes a LOT of anger. Sigh.