marta, I do remember your struggles with school work and how triggering it was.
I'm so sorry that you obviously had to endure harsh and unfair punishment for wrong answers. It makes me angry that in this day and age either parents or teachers would do that. It is so counterproductive to learning! But that's just my side rant because I tutor school students and teach adults.
ime it's a form of progress in recovery when I realise what the memory is behind the trigger. Yes, it is usually very painful to connect back to this memory but for me it's often also a key which allows me to say "
Now I understand why I have so much difficulty with x,y,z!" Then I can accept this perceived 'failing' better and begin to heal from the shame or at the very least harangue myself a little less (so that means the ICr is reduced).
I don't think your question is silly at all. It's quite complex in fact and not that easy to answer. It sounds to me as if you're beginning to
really feel what traumatised you in the past rather than just cognitively know (or maybe it was even all repressed) and you're feeling deeper into the traumatic memories (like the fear of having no control and of your body being overpowered). Could that be roughly what's going on? I would say those types of fears are integral to cptsd. Please know that many of us here on OOTS have been there before and go back to those types of feelings too. Things do get better even though when you're in the thick of them, especially in early recovery, it doesn't feel as if anything will ever change or get better.
I care about you, others on here care about you. I'm sending much supportive, healing energy from here on OOTS and gentle

if they feel safe and good to you.