New Member

[ShadyForest]

Hi, I have recently joined the group.  I have not posted anything yet or started a journal but have read through a few.  I have had suppressed / repressed memories that have been coming to the surface.  Close to 2 years ago they started coming together and I could no longer ignore them.  The good days and bad day are starting to ease up a bit but it is in my mind everyday.  The cycle of memories and thoughts start with when I am 3 years old and go through to my mid 30's.  Some days it repeats over and over all day long.  I am tired of reliving the abuse and want to find some level of peace.  My DH has listened to me when I need someone to talk to and is getting tired of hearing about it at times on a daily basis.  I leave out a lot of the details and names when I talk to him.  I feel like if I talk to anyone in depth about what has happened that it will somehow make things worse. 

I am feeling optimistic about having a safe place to work through what is going on.  I want to give journaling a chance and learn more about daily coping skills.  Any advice on how to manage the approach avoidance issues with talking or writing about what has happened would be greatly appreciated.

[Dark.art.girl]

Welcome, ShadyForest!!!!
I'm a new member as well. Like yourself, my abuse started at an early age as well and so I understand how all of the repressed memories coming up would be super overwhelming. This is the perfect place to find people who can relate/validate what you're going through. On this forum, like in group therapy, we're not supposed to give "advice" but since you asked, I don't see a problem with giving some helpful suggestions

I've shared with some people previously that sharing in-depth trauma with people who don't understand can be extremely difficult. It feels unpredictable the way they will react, even when you trust the person. Your mind will tell you all sorts of things to prevent you from feeling comfortable opening up, but one thing I've learned about PTSD in general is the more you talk about it, the better it gets. Reprocessing is super important when it comes to traumatic events.

I'm not sure what kind of coping skills you might need help working on because I don't know what you struggle with specifically, but you are totally welcome to PM me, or reach out to me if you feel I could help with some of the coping skills I've learned through my own recovery. Plus I'll give you some links to some articles

https://www.aprillyonspsychotherapyboulder.com/blog/c-ptsd-therapy
https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/ptsd/related/cptsd/

This forum has helped me learn sooooo much about the symptoms I've been having, so I truly hope you can find the same comfort and validation here as well. 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS ShadyForest    Your user name conjures up such a lovely image in my mind's eye.

You may have seen this post but in case you haven't I thought I'd cut and paste it because it captures why we are here, together, so well IMO. It was written by Dr. Judith Herman, the well known traumatologist who coined the term Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in 1992, wrote about the healing power of community:

Traumatic events destroy the sustaining bonds between individual and community. Those who have survived learn that their sense of self, of worth, of humanity, depends upon a feeling of connection with others. The solidarity of a group provides the strongest protection against terror and despair, and the strongest antidote to traumatic experience. Trauma isolates; the group re-creates a sense of belonging. Trauma shames and stigmatizes; the group bears witness and affirms. Trauma degrades the victim; the group exalts her. Trauma dehumanizes the victim; the group restores her humanity.

Repeatedly in the testimony of survivors there comes a moment when a sense of connection is restored by another person's unaffected display of generosity. Something in herself that the victim believes to be irretrievably destroyed---faith, decency, courage---is reawakened by an example of common altruism. Mirrored in the actions of others, the survivor recognizes and reclaims a lost part of herself.

(Reference: Herman, J. (1997). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence from domestic abuse to political terror. New York: Basic Books)

"So why are we here? We are here to harness the power of community, to bear witness to our own trauma and that of our peers, and to connect with one another in a respectful, caring and supportive manner."   https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=450.0

Glad you found your way here and I hope you find the connection, comfort, support and information you need and deserve

[Pioneer]

Hi ShadyForest! Welcome! I can understand the feeling of avoidance of talking or writing about the trauma. I am somewhat new here too, and I am still working through that myself. It has gotten easier for me as I have read others posts, interacted some and received affirmation...and have found this to be a safe place. It took me a little while to begin a journal, but it is gradually getting easier as I feel safe to begin the process of unpacking. I hope this can be an encouraging and empowering place for you too!

[Bella]

Welcome to the forum! Happy to see you here! Hope this place will be of great support to you, as it has been to me! 

[Not Alone]

Welcome.