Thank you Alter-Ego, I really appreciate that!!
Having a hard time lately. I've been triggered all the time living here. My F has been verbally attacking my about being LGBT. He's been drunk almost every day. On Saturday he got arrested for firing a gun in the house. He has been in jail since Saturday and is seeing the judge on Monday at 1:30 pm. The police took all of his guns which is good imho.
I'm really upset about the whole situation. I've been feeling like something like this was going to happen. He was not aiming the gun at any of us, perhaps was aiming it at himself? But it was after arguing with myself and M, I was shutting him out because of how hateful he was being towards my identity and he did not like that I was refusing to talk to him.
I was video chatting with a friend & having a hulu watch party w/ my headphones in when the gunshot happened. I heard it but I thought that my M had dropped part of the dresser she was putting together. No one was injured but the police were called by M, I didn't know. It was pretty scary. None of the cops were wearing masks either which really sucked because now I'm worried about catching covid from those interactions. When they arrived to try and secure the house, I had to leave my room through my window, they did not want me to walk through the house in case D was going to hurt someone. I've had a feeling for a long time that this would happen and my plan was always to leave through my window, so it felt weird to actually be doing it.
I'm glad that all the guns are confiscated. That has been really worrying me if he decides to hurt my M or anyone else with a gun. He has pointed one at my B before and this is the second time he has fired one in the house. M is determined for divorce ASAP. The police gave us domestic violence packets and there are resources in there that I think can be helpful.
I'm worried that the judge will put F on parole and he will have to stay at home & not be allowed to leave the state to stay at his cabin - which is originally what M wanted him to do regarding the divorce. I'm worried that him returning home after this incident will cause more violence.
I did have a second interview for the job via zoom. It didn't go so well. F found a way to interrupt that even though I explained beforehand that I had an interview and needed to not be interrupted. It really distracted me and threw me off and the interviewer did not like the interruption. Aside from that, I found a place to live in the same state as the job. I have been considering moving regardless of having the job or not. I can survive for a few months on savings and I might be able to start work as a temp with a company I used to work for in that area. The commute would be long for the temp roles, but maybe I could find something closer?? ??
I want to leave here so badly but now I'm scared to leave M alone with F.
TMS has been a mess. The only technician left at the clinic got Covid, he is doing okay. I do not think I will be returning though. The clinic could only get someone to cover 2 days last week and on the second day I felt the substitute tech did not set up the machine correctly and it was targeting the wrong part of my brain- it was causing unusual muscle spasms which usually points to the target being the motor cortex. Also none of the usual precautions were followed and she also walked out of the room while the machine was going, so I called her back in and stopped the treatment. The original tech has been in touch and said he hopes to return Wednesday, but that will only have been 10 days from when he got a positive covid result. I feel like that's too soon. I'm just getting more and more uncomfortable with the clinic's practices.
I think I am going to donate blood to the Red Cross so I have have the Covid serology test done, I know there is more than one strain of Covid but I'd like to know if I've at least had it, that way I can stop worrying so much about catching it.
I'm so stressed out right now in light of all this commotion in my life. I wish I could be more active on here but I've just been hiding.
