Hi, new here

[Wic]

Hi, my name is Wic and I am 59 years old.  I live in Canada.  I have been living with CPTSD for most of my adult life having been raised in a family with alcoholism, narcissism, sexual/physical/emotional abuse.  I am also a social worker, in the field for 30 years and a counsellor as well.  I truly don't know if I will ever be able to overcome the symptoms of CPTSD even though I have an excellent therapist who is an expert in the area.  I have spent years in therapy, on and off medications and have tried various means to heal my life.  I have a history of suicide attempts (hope that is okay to say) and abusive relationships with both men and women.  I am currently living alone and have virtually no friends but have my aged mother staying with me during the pandemic (she is a classic narcissist).  I'm not sure what I am looking for from OOTS, my therapist recommended this as a resource.  I just wanted to make my presence known and reach out.  Thank you.

[marta1234]

Welcome Wic, glad un joined us  I hope you find support and comfort here, and at least a place where you are not faced with judgements left and right.

[woodsgnome]

Dear Wic ... here's a warm welcome to a diverse but focused community. The base line seems to swirl in the directions of trudging through this life despite some hefty wounds which  we neither created nor wanted;  but hey, we're here anyway and ... now what?

My own approach to this forum was also along tentative lines of wondering what the discussions here could do to help alleviate my own tendency to slide further into despair. So I was rather pleasantly surprised to find that I was learning from the only true experts on cptsd -- those who've 'walked the talk'. I've read lots of the self-proclaimed experts, but the people here are speaking from deep within, from their broken hearts.

OOTS reflects so much of the journey -- the extreme lows, but also the peeks into new ways of healing.

So your presence here, however little or much of these materials you choose to actively dive into, is a welcome addition.   

[Wic]

Thank you for the warm welcomes.  I am amazed, as someone who relies on my communication skills, how daunting it is to post in a forum like this.  I am sitting at my desk in my office, googling information that I will never use for things I don't care about, and looking for some kind of connection.  I have little to no connection to actual humans, as I find it nearly impossible to trust in others.  I do have two sweet dogs who keep me grounded and alive though.     I have been reading many of the posts here and seeing that there is definitely safety and respect built into these forums and I look forward to learning of others experience.

[mojay]

Welcome Wic!! Hello to you and your dogs from America!  U・ᴥ・U (that's supposed to be a dog face haha)

Your situation sounds very tough and I feel for you, I resonated with a lot of what you shared. The pandemic causing one to live with a narcissistic parent again, the family history, on/off of medications and suicide attempts are all things that I have experienced, too. I'm also new to OOTS and find it daunting. I've found that being on here has helped me feel less alone and given me so many new resources to better understand myself.

I've been trying to find ways to deal with my narcissist and Dr. Ramani on youtube has been very educational. She is a specialist in narcissism and has given some very good tips. Of course, these tips aren't specifically for those of us with CPTSD so trying to practice these tips while triggered can be nearly impossible!!

In any case, I'm glad you're here with us on OOTS and I'm looking forward to seeing you around

[Pioneer]

Welcome, Wic!  Thanks for sharing some of your story with us. I hope you can find safety and encouragement here!

[Not Alone]

I am amazed, as someone who relies on my communication skills, how daunting it is to post in a forum like this.

Yes, it can be scary and vulnerable. Go at your own pace. Welcome. 

[Taylor27]

 :grouphug:Welcome I am also new here to. I hope you find healing and support here. 

[Bermuda]

Hi Wic, sorry I'm late. Welcome to the forum.

That sounds like it must have been a terrible environment to grow up in. I can't imagine how it must feel to have your mother with you. In any case, I can imagine that would stir up a lot of feelings.

I really empathise with your comment about human connection. It's very difficult for a lot of us. I hope you find this to be a safe space. I at least find it comforting just to know that someone read my words.

Anyway, hope you find it helpful too.