Seeing the pattern continue

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mojay

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Seeing the pattern continue
« on: January 08, 2021, 05:46:51 PM »
Hello all. I am feeling distraught by my F lately and my S. F is a covert narcissist. I have been learning how the pattern of abuse can continue through generations. My S has married a man just like my F.
Originally, I moved in with my S while getting treatment. Her H was never onboard with me living there but they both lied to me about it, so I had no idea until it was too late. Eventually he kicked me out because he "feared for my life" (he thought I would act on SI despite me saying numerous times I would not and that he was not following the safety plan we all agreed on with my therapist), forcing me to move back in with my abusers who he knew were my abusers. How does that make sense???
I am so heartbroken that this is her life now. She loves him, but I can see the struggle that it is for her to love him. She does not want to have children so maybe the cycle will not continue in her case? I fear that if they did have children, my BIL would never allow me close enough to make a difference and to be a safe adult for them. I am just so fearful and sad. So sad. I don't know what to do with these emotions over the situation, so thank you for letting me write on here.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2021, 02:38:21 AM by mojay »

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Blueberry

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Re: Seeing the pattern continue
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2021, 11:01:08 PM »
 :hug: :hug:

I'm sorry you're going through that. It's really hard, even devastating seeing the pattern continue. Standing with you. :grouphug:

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mojay

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Re: Seeing the pattern continue
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2021, 02:39:04 AM »
:hug: :hug:

I'm sorry you're going through that. It's really hard, even devastating seeing the pattern continue. Standing with you. :grouphug:

Thank you Blueberry, I agree it is devastating to see it continue. Thank you for standing with me  :hug:

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Pioneer

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Re: Seeing the pattern continue
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2021, 05:37:56 AM »
Mojay, I'm sorry you're going through all that. I also stand with you. I'm sorry for the pain and all the difficult emotions that come with that.

I also struggle while seeing some of the same patterns in my siblings, and I feel the grief of having no contact with them (we chose this for our family's safety and wellbeing). It's hard for me not to feel some responsibility for them, even though they are adults now with their own decisions. I feel sad, too. And I feel sorrow with you. Sending you a hug if that's ok :hug: