digging out of the muck

[Hope67]

 
Hope 

[sanmagic7]

notalone, armadillo, and hope - thanks so much for your caring, concern, and hugs.  love and peace to you all

i'm too stressed now, 3 days to the move.  i'll be out of touch for a while.  hanging on with meds and smokes and food.  ugly combo, but there it is. 

[Armadillo]

Doing what you need to do to hang on is not ugly it is beautiful. Healthy habits will be waiting for you when you are in a place to make use of them. Hang in there the next week.

[Blueberry]

Healthy habits will be waiting for you when you are in a place to make use of them. Hang in there the next week.

Sending strength and self-compassion to you, dear san.

[Armadillo]

Thinking of you, dear. 

[Libby183]

I found my old recovery journal very recently, and it reminded me of all of the help and support you gave me, around EMDR and therapy. I am truly grateful.

I hope that you are coping well with everything you are going through, and I look forward to reconnecting when you are back on the forum.

[Tee]

  sorry I've been MIA San. You've still been in my heart and thoughts. I hope that your move has gone well and you are settling in well. Sending hugs of comfort and care for a friend that I've been missing.

[Snowdrop]

Sending you much love and hugs, San.

[Blueberry]

Thinking of you san 

[Armadillo]

Ditto. 

[sanmagic7]

thank you all for your thoughts and caring.

the move was a nightmare, the heat wave almost landed me in the hospital, and the car died on the way to the apt.  more than that i can't talk about yet, but me D, her cat, and i are all alive, so that's the best part of it. 

i appreciate everyone's support.  i'm still not ready to come back here regularly.  i still can't get to a place of hope, peace, and/or calm.  just surviving for now.  love to you all.

[Armadillo]

  oh dear. It sounds dreadful. I am happy you are alive. And I am so sad that you are in a place of despair right now. Calm and peace will come in their time. In the meantime, you know you can just pop in for a hug anytime without having to say a word. 

[sanmagic7]

thanks, armadillo, for the validation.  it has been dreadful, and the pieces are still falling on us.  too many to mention.  i'm so tired of being strong, i can barely stand it anymore.  as soon as we get a bit of down time, my anxiety blasts me.  it's ridiculous!  can't even enjoy a few minutes respite.  my t listens to me 2x/week and i'm simply venting, like i'm doing now.  so very sick of this crapola!  no breaks, it seems like, at least not with the piddly, annoying, one little thing after another.

the big things, yes, we are still alive.  we are safe.  only by divine intervention, i'm sure of that.  all around me the world is sick, dying, our political picture looks bleak, the earth is burning both in the air and on the ground.  i have to survive this, and i'll fight till i can't, but honestly, i'd love for that to stop.  i'm drained of fight, except to simply survive right now.  times like this i wish i could just give up, give in, disappear and be done with it all.  but something inside won't let me, so i come here to rant about it instead. i just hate all of this!!!   

you know, i'd love some hugs if they're available.

[Snowdrop]

I hear you, San. Hang in there. Sending much love and support, and oodles of hugs.

[Blueberry]

 



Coming here to rant and vent is just fine!