Shame because guy I'm dating is being distant

[Lilypad]

Hi all,

There is a guy in my life who I briefly dated three years ago, then became friends with. Recently we got involved again. I spent loads of time with him last weekend and he spent the night... he is now acting all distant and not texting or calling me. It is quite a contrast because beforehand he was paying me loads of attention. I feel dismayed and also ashamed.

I don't know if he just used me for sex, or if there is more to it than that. Tbf he recently broke up with someone he was with for 2 years, so maybe he is confused. But i feel kinda betrayed. As he was my friend, I thought I could trust him.

I am feeling really lonely in lockdown, and now I feel cast aside. Maybe I could talk to him about it, but right now my instinct is to give him some space and also try to look after myself. I think I need to get into a better space mentally before taking to him.

It just touches on my abandonment wound- ouch.

[saylor]

I'm so sorry, Lilypad 

I know how hard this is, but please try not to let his behavior cause you shame. There could be a million reasons for his aloofness that have nothing to do with you

[Lilypad]

Thank you, Saylor. That is true.

I guess I am beating up on myself because he did this when we were previously involved so I feel like I should have seen it coming. He has since apologised for his previous behaviour, and like I say, we became friends, so I just thought it would be different this time.

Sometimes my desperate need for affection gets me into trouble, and it is hard to feel okay about that