Sage's Journal

[CactusFlower]

And it worked! I already have a reply, and they apologized and clarified. I know what they're talking about, so that actually IS very helpful in choosing another pattern.  Wow. Setting boundaries worked really well here. I'm thrilled. I thanked them for the helpful quick reply.

"I'm sorry my manner sometimes comes across that way.

The lack of shaping in the shoulders and neck is my primary complaint. The way it's designed, it is likely to hug the shoulders very tightly and stand up past the ears. It's a pyramid shape. Humans are not pyramid shaped."

[AphoticAtramentous]

  Yay for setting boundaries. And I love how maturely you expressed yourself. Reminds me of the science how talking gently or quietly to someone will mostly likely result in them doing the same. We just need to at least initiate that gentleness, that productive and good-faith approach. Incredible how more useful conversations become when we all sit down and act like adults in a room, and not toddlers on the internet.

Regards,
Aphotic.

[sanmagic7]

   congrats to you, CF!  that's amazing!  well done!     love and hugs

[CactusFlower]

Thank you, san and apho!

Not-so-pleasant evening on the 1st. Apparently this town does fireworks on Labor Day. I don't recall that from last year, but I suppose I should have expected it.  The odd thing was, it sounded much closer than the stadium where it's usually done. With a helicopter going around and 25 minutes of huge explosions sounding like they were 10 blocks away (I couldn't see any fireworks, which was odd), I was nearly hyperventilating. It wasn't until the large cluster at the end that I realized it was a holiday weekend. (When you don't work, it kinda doesn't matter any more to have a day off.) So I tried the  box breathing I discussed with my therapist. It helped a little. The 5 senses thing didn't help because I'd just had ice cream and that was all I could taste and smell.

On a positive note, I decided to get my new computer I'd planned on by having it built locally. Bro takes his PC to a place that does great repairs, turns out they do custom builds as well. So I'm getting a great system comparable to anything I could find online, put together by people I trust, and for a similar price. One that should last me quite a while. I'll have to go pay this week so they can start on it. I'm hoping to go tomorrow as Bro has no class and should have a moment to assist me. So sometime next week should see me with a new computer after all these years. (4 TB SSD, woohoo)

Physically, I changed all my bedding and flipped the mattress, then got the trash ready. Wow do I hurt. Might go to bed early tonight.

[sanmagic7]

yeah, some rest sounds like just the ticket after all that, CF. and i hear you about one day being mostly the same as another when not 'working' at a structured job. it's so true!  weekends don't mean the same to me as to other folks, either.  kinda funny.

hope the whole computer thing goes well and smoothly.  nice that you'll have some help.  love and hugs

[CactusFlower]

A new computer has been achieved! So, I went and paid for it and they started work. It's a small 4-person shop, but they're great at what they do. Ironically, yesterday morning, the one I had been using totally died in the middle of replying to an email. Wouldn't even come back on. Not half an hour later as I'm setting up my laptop, the shop calls and the new computer is almost ready, they just want to know if I want Steam and Discord pre-loaded. Yes, and after lunch with my BFF, I got my computer! They actually even put in a stronger power supply than originally quoted. He said it was the same price as the other, but I doubt that. I just spent enough that they did a little free upgrade. It's heavy, but it's so powerful! Things open in a blink, my hard drive is large, near-top of the line CPU and video card, lots of RAM and fans... I'm so very pleased. This one will last, and it's quite upgradeable if need be. Very very pleased with their work. Also very grateful I could afford to make this investment. Given how much I do on the computer to connect to the world and take care of my health, this relieves some anxiety as well. Even if it did take all evening to download Baldur's Gate 3. LOL  The improved power and processing should also mean no more lags or less than stellar connections for my telehealth therapy visits. No worries about losing connection during a session. So I do have something positive to talk about this afternoon!

[Blueberry]

    

Happy for you CF

[sanmagic7]

 

 

computers can make all the difference, for sure!  love and hugs

[Hope67]

I am excited about your new computer, that sounds so great 
Hope 

[CactusFlower]

Thank you, Hope, San, and Blueberry!  It's working very well.

Therapy went okay. We'll start EMDR soon, that should be interesting. Didn't really do it much with my previous therapist but for a few times in the beginning. We've identified a few small things to start with, see how it goes since it can sometimes lead to bigger things and she wants to try to work up to the "Big T" stuff.

[sanmagic7]

good luck w/ the emdr, CF.  i hope it goes well for you.  keep us posted, ok?  love and hugs

[NarcKiddo]

Yay! A new computer. I hope you are enjoying it.

Wishing you well for the EMDR.

[Armee]

Good luck! I found it much better to start with small easy stuff too.