Sage's Journal

[CactusFlower]

Got to the pharmacy yesterday and took the first Sertraline this morning with my protein shake. You can take it with or without food, but I use that to choke down the huge calcium supplement, so it's a good time to do them both. I joke with my BFF because it's a "little blue pill", but can have the opposite effect of Viagra. I honestly don't care about that. The only thing I'm noticing about 3.5 hours after taking it is a slight sense of antsy-ness and I'm bouncing my leg a bit more. That could be a little bit of boredom, though, so I'm just writing down whatever I feel. I'll get back with the psych on the 8th to check in about it.

[BeeKeeper]

Sage,

I've been reading but not posting.

Fantastic progress with the online psych appointment and with getting the new RX. You're burning up the track! 

[CactusFlower]

What I'm noting down so far, although I'm not saying 100% is a sertraline side effect. It's still very early and it needs to establish a pattern to be sure.

The antsy-ness: I am definitely bouncing my leg more than usual. For a few hours after I take it, I am alert and feel antsy, but not actually to the point of doing anything. I find I also need to be either doing something or have the fidget toys in my hands or the skin picking increases a lot. This may chill out after the first week, supposedly. But at teh same time, I almost feel like I could nap.
Sleep: The past two nights have been... odd. I'm not actually really sleepy, per se, but I also don't feel like I'm getting deep sleep. I know I've dreamed a few times, so I clearly hit REM state, but I'm also much more aware of being awake and just laying there. Like, when I come up between REM cycles, I'm coming up enough to know I'm actually awake, which is a little frustrating.
Appetite:  Oh yeah. The decrease in appetite is very noticeable today. I noticed it a little last night, as I had a little difficulty finishing dinner and wasn't hungry later on. Not even munchies. this morning, I had about a quarter cup of oatmeal and didn't really even finish it. I'm just... not really hungry at all. I may have to set reminders to eat if this keeps up. Although on a positive note, it's 10:30am already and I'm not the shaky hungry person who didn't have any protein for breakfast that I usually am. I'll just have to be careful to keep my blood sugar level and not forget a meal.
Anxiety: Honestly, I can't tell. I haven't, in the three days I've taken it now, had anything that would trigger me or a situation that would normally make me anxious, so I don't know yet if it's helping with that. I can't yet tell if it's actually improving my mood, as I still feel rather blah most of the time.

[BeeKeeper]

Wow Sage,

from the way you document the new med trial, I have ultimate confidence in your disability claim!!!

I experienced the same sleep issues, a lot of wakefulness. Over time it may change though. At first it was deep deep REM, lots of dreams, but then it "wore off" after 3 months.

[CactusFlower]

Thank you! I'm definitely willing to give stuff a try and document whatever I need to. The psych did say one could be a little more anxious and energized the first week or so, so we'll see how this plays out before I check back in on the 8th.

[CactusFlower]

Well, the side effect are interesting. I still have the bouncy leg/antsy-ness in the mornings.  However, the worst one now is the sleep issue. I went to bed last night at 11:30, not tired, and I doubt I actually fell asleep until at least 2 or 3am. I didn't get up until after 9 because of it, and I really don't like that. Sleep dysfunction messes with my fibromyalgia, so this either needs to sort itself or I'll be messaging to doc to see if I can cut these pills in half. I need to sleep.

Emotion-wise, I don't feel bad, but I don't really feel... great? I know it's not quite a week yet, but everything just feels kinda... muted. I don't know how to describe it. I've thought about trying some of my hobbies and just say "bleah". I look at food to make something and nothing looks interesting. I did make a good skillet hash last night with sausage, potatoes, peppers and onions, but that was mainly because I need to eat more veggies, LOL. The leftovers will be good with an egg scrambled in.

I can tell that even though the days are still hot, autumn is on its way. I don't want salad or lemonade or cold things. Now I think about making chili or potato soup, or what I might be able to bake when it cools off.  My cravings change with the seasons, one of the few useful things my body does, ha ha.  Another month or two and I should be able to stand that weighted blanket. I so look forward to trying it.

[CactusFlower]

I tried it for a full week. I had to cut the pill in half today, as the lack of decent sleep is too much. I took a nap on the couch for a few hours, that helped, but I'm still so tired. I also hate the excessive sweating. I've never liked that feeling.

I called the counseling place to leave a message for the doc about not sleeping and only taking half today. I got a message back that she'll televisit with me this Weds instead of next, so that's good. And she didn't say to not do it, so that's also good. If I was otherwise healthy, it might not make it so bad, but the fibromyalgia means that worse sleep = worse pain. I ache all over, bone deep.  The appetite suppressant part kinda sucks too. I actually forgot to eat lunch yesterday because I just wasn't hungry.

Maybe a different med is in order, I dunno. We'll see Weds.

[rainydiary]

Sage, that sounds so difficult.  I hope you and your doctor find some relief and until that meeting that you find some ease. 

[BeeKeeper]

Hi Sage,

You're describing things I know well. The muted appetite part is a strange one. I felt a great ambivalence about food, chose not to eat, and lost massive amounts of weight. All well and good except, the piper eventually has to be paid. It comes with complete wardrobes in different sizes, and shock and dismay when the "real" appetite emerges, sometime later.

As far as sleep, yeah! Fibro is a real kick-@$$ condition. I have it too and managing it requires careful careful rationing of daily energy, etc.

I hope you can reach a level of comfort with your T recommendations. The problem always is, it takes a while.

[Armee]

Those side effects sound miserable and you did a good job standing up for yourself by calling. I hope you get both understanding from the prescribing doc and some solutions.

[CactusFlower]

I really like this psych. She is adamant about not continuing something that doesn't work. So, we'll be switching to citalopramine (Lexapro). It's a smaller dose by a lot. I hope this will help better.

[CactusFlower]

Nothing really much to talk about lately. Still working on why abandonment is a big thing for me. My T wanted me to come up with one way I dissociate negatively. Honestly, I don't think any of them are terribly positive.
The lexapro seems to be better than the sertraline. I'm at least sleeping better and I'm not as hot.  How I feel emotionally, that still remains to be seen as it levels out.

[BeeKeeper]

Sage,

Going through the med search is so tiring.

The lexapro seems to be better than the sertraline. I'm at least sleeping better and I'm not as hot

[owl25]

It sounds like you have a good psych there, I'm glad she's taking things so seriously and doesn't make you wait 

[Dante]

Best wishes to find the right meds.   You deserve it!