Sage's Journal

[rainydiary]

I appreciate you sharing about the experiences.  I am also intrigued by the game you mentioned - I like Stardew Valley and a lot of people that play that game also like Dreamlight Valley.  I appreciate you framing as the inner child enjoying.

[Armee]

I'm a bit jealous of your new friend circle lol!!!!


Sending gentle hugs if wanted for the grief and painful feelings of shame,  and wishes for those good memories to hang on strong.

[sanmagic7]

sounds like great fun, CF, and a means for socializing.  way to go!  love and hugs

[Not Alone]

Nice that you have that game to enjoy. 

[CactusFlower]

Still here.  My T has the next two weeks off. She was talking about how she'd never had two weeks off before, and we both commiserated about how awful time off is in America. Speaking of corporate greed, my Sara Lee cinnamon raisin bagels have gone from 6 in a package to 5 for the same price. I am just so tired of it all. Not sure why this holiday has so much"blah" time compared to others. Also, landlord has had his electrician guy replace some ceiling lights.  These LED things may use less energy, but their stated lifetime is not true. Currently waiting to get eh kitchen one replaced. There's a window, but that doesn't mean much in the evening. At least laundry got done today. Might not be all put away for a couple days, but everything's clean.

[Armee]

The clean laundry is the important part. The putting away is slow to happen around here, too.

How will it be for you for T to be gone 2 weeks?

[CactusFlower]

Honestly, I don't know. She's taken a few days here and there which mean that there have been the occasional week off. So far, there haven't been any emergencies while she's been away. I'm still feeling rather blah in general. I'm wondering if it's a kind of mild dissociation or derealization. There might be something to explore about this time of year. So she and I will get back together on the 26th. (so to speak, it's all zoom) Both my bro and my BFF know her phone number is in my phone under ICE (in case of emergencies) and her name, so that's okay.

Family dinner Saturday is gonna be French onion soup. I hope it turns out good, cause it take two hours to make. So we'll watch a movie while cooking. I'm going with BFF to the store tomorrow as we have some of the ingredients, but need onions, bread, and cheese, LOL. Maybe that will be sensorily grounding. At least it'll be tasty.

[rainydiary]

I hope the soup turns out just right.

[Hope67]

Hi CactusFlower,
Your French onion soup sounds like it's going to be really tasty.  I hope you enjoy cooking it, and also eating it. 

Sending you a hug -    I'm wondering what kind of bread you're having with the soup.  Crusty bread, or something else?

Hope 

[Armee]

Oh man I'm with everyone that soups sounds phenomenal and yes grounding. Warm and savory and cheesy.

We're here for you while T is gone. We're all different but I know for me when T is gone I actually get a little relief because I just put all the hard stuff on a backburner. So I'll hope that the break in therapy provides a bit of breathing room too, along with the grief of missing that support.

[CactusFlower]

Thank you, Rainy, Hope, and Armee. I have no real holiday plans other than to stay warm and eat (lol), so hopefully I'll be ok. BFF reiterated he's there for me too.

The soup turned out AMAZING. My mandoline slicer made that work go so much faster. The place smelled amazing, I tell ya. (as long as you like onions.) We probably could have carmelized them a bit longer, but it was taking a while already due to his pan being one of those thick Le Creuset types and therefore slower to heat. The Gruyere was just the right amount of salty and the grocery store's baguettes were the perfect size for the little brown crocks. If we go to a French restaurant, I'm gonna judge theirs against that, because ours just blew me away. I had leftovers today and it was thicker due to the bread dissolving, but that was just as good.

The weekday Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families meeting that I attend decided to have people hold the zoom room open whenever needed outside of meeting time this month since it can be so hard for people. We also are quite active in a Whatsapp group and the level of support and care is wonderful with this group of people.

I'll commit to coming here and writing/responding tomorrow during my usual therapy time. I am very grateful for this board and the wonderful people I've met on here. it's made a real difference. Gentle group hug if you want to.

[sanmagic7]

i'm in on the group hug!   

the cooking you're doing lately is so wonderful - nourishing, creative, sharing.  i could visualize your onion soup.  wowser!

i love that your 12-step group is opening up for more meetings this month.  i think it's wonderful.     love and hugs

[Armee]

I'm so glad you are getting such great support out in the world. 

The soup sounds amazing and I would welcome the recipe if you felt like posting it!

Group hug, coming in....

[CactusFlower]

Thanks, San and Armee!  I got the recipe from here: https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-to-make-french-onion-soup  We did not add any alcohol, and we did add a tiny bit of rosemary and a couple bay leaves at the "season" point. maybe about 1/4 to a half of a teaspoon of rosemary, not too much. Here, this is when he took it out of the oven: https://imgur.com/gallery/AeHuQEY
There is no current identifying info on that account, no worries.

So far, so good.  We have a grocery pickup in a few hours and I've just been distracting myself with a game.  Bit chillier today. The kitties are face-planted in my blanket hoodie because it's so soft. Unfortunately, my kitchen light isn't getting fixed until next week, as the landlord's electrician has COVID. But he has the new fixture ready to go. I've just been using the dining room light and having the blinds open during the day. it suffices. Gentle hugs, all, stay warm.

[rainydiary]

CF, I have been thinking of you as I bought Dreamlight Valley and have been really enjoying it.  I wanted to stay home today and play it rather than work.  I appreciate all of the coziness you are experiencing and sharing.