Armee, Hope, BlueBerry, NotAlone, thank you all. Definitely a group hug. I'll be working on the stock thing this week.
So, the thing I discussed with my T. I had such a fear response happening before telling her, which wasn't logical at all. We work well together. I took a few moments to breathe and jumped into the questions I answered on the forum and pointed to several examples in my life that fit.
She's a social worker, so can't diagnose, but completely agrees I am a fit for having Dissociative Identity Disorder. (formerly known as multiple personality, and effed over by Hollywood) She knew someone whose specialty is that, but unfortunately, she's not covered by my insurance. I did a provider search on my insurance's website and found several that look good and have appropriate certifications AND do telehealth visits AND are taking new patients. So I'll also be looking their reviews and such to find the one that fits. There's not much point doing anything about it if it's not technically diagnosed, so that's the goal. My T said she'd back me up for however I pursued treatment or whatever for it. (She's awesome, really) It's a very strange way to think about myself, but it makes so much sense and explains a lot of past behavior. Because trauma creates it, it's often found with CPTSD, so I shouldn't have been surprised. Don't worry, you've been reading the same person this whole time. But yeah, part of me is all "Great, more layers of weird" and the other part is sighing in relief to at least have an explanation for things. Knowing makes me feel better, like I'm better armed or such.