Sage's Journal

[CactusFlower]

Ugh, I hate when I've let so much time pass between check-ins.  I'll click back in and go, Oh jeez, it's been almost a week?  Sigh. Not much change, at least.  Had a good family meal with BFF and Bro.  Really have to curate my news intake even harder lately. So much hate, it's scary. I did dissociate for quite a while one of the days after reading what some politician up in Alaska said about child abuse. Not going to repeat it here, but it triggered a terrible day.

On a positive note, I discovered Stubb's sugar free dipping sauce is not only great for homemade chicken bites, it tastes like a perfectly balanced honey mustard. Yay for sugar free that's good. I liked it on the fries too. It'd be wonderful on baked chicken or even porkchops.

[Armee]

 

[rainydiary]

I resonate with moderation in news intake even in "comedy" like SNL and other late night shows.  I'm glad you found a safe food and hope it adds something extra to your meals.

[CactusFlower]

Hugs, armee and rainy.  Did it again. But relatively quiet these past few days, I'll take it. Ordered a cake for Bro's bday.  Saturday will be quite busy. I have the writing group in the am and we're meeting in person over at Mike's.  Good thing I like these people, lol.  Then my online ACA meeting, then picking up the cake, then we'll take Bro to dinner. I'm gonna be super wiped out Sun and Mon, but I can rest. I managed to make a batch of bolognese sauce yesterday. It was very tasty and I had it for a late lunch so it wouldn't set off any reflux.  good choice, and it was delicious.

Someone on the Buy Nothing FB group is offering a tube of high calorie cat treat, it comes out like toothpaste. We'll be going to get that in a little bit here.  I hope it helps my cat. I've had it with previous cats, so I hope he likes it as much. I forgot about it, so I'm glad I was reminded it existed, at least.  Wish me luck, I've also thrown my name in the hat for someone who's giving away an air fryer they only used once before getting a bigger one. I'd really like that since mine kinda died.

[Armee]

Wishing you luck for the squeeze a treat and air fryer!!!

[Not Alone]

 

[sanmagic7]

CF, i surely do hope you get those things you want.  you've been so into making good food lately, and i think that's great.  best to you with this.  and my my my, hasn't your schedule gotten busy!  so wonderful to see you doing things you enjoy and get something pos. from.  love and hugs

[rainydiary]

I hope the day and birthday plans went as well as possible.

[CactusFlower]

Thank you so much, armee, notalone, san and rainy!

The air fryer post disappeared, so maybe the person changed their mind about giving it away. Ah well.  Oh a positive note, one lick of the nutritional cat gel and I had to pry him off it! Seriously, the next day, all I had to do was show him the tube and he was all "yes, yes, please, yummy, gimme, I recognize it GIMME".  hehehehe. I'm glad he likes it so much. It's about a teaspoon at a time, but I'm doing it when the food isn't out am and pm. I really hope this puts some weight back on. ("fish concentrate", ugh LOL)

The birthday went very well and the little cake from the local bakery is divine. The bakery is apparently 50 this year and still family run! I really try to buy local when I can. We also went to dinner with the BFF and one of our local Chinese food places has really improved.  Must be a new chef or something, but 100% better than before, and they were already good. So that was nice. Today is bro's actual birthday, so he'll celebrate online with his gaming buddies.

Writing group in person was actually very good. We seemed to bounce ideas and stuff off each other a little easier. As I went back to my place in time for my ACA meeting, a local black cat came up and said hi. Super affectionate, his tag said "Reggie".  Reggie was sweet and wanted to come in, but that was not allowed. I had Pumpkin come up to the screen door and she hissed. It was like "Interloper! You shall not pass!" So we shut the door after telling Reggie to go home. My cats never go outside, it's safer that way.  But Reggie was a sweetie.

I'm just resting today from all of that. Very worn out physically, but in a decent mood. if I have the energy later, I might edit something I'm submitting to an anthology. It only needs a couple tweaks.  My hands are starting to ache here, so see you later! Gentle hugs to everyone!

[CactusFlower]

Really feeling upset this morning. Varric isn't running to the food bowl when I put the food out. The first two days I had the nutritional gel stuff, he loved it. This morning, he doesn't want it. I tried opening the new tube to see if he just wanted a different flavor. No such luck. I've ordered a feeding syringe to arrive tomorrow and will mix the gel (it's super sticky) with some warm water, see if I can get it in him that way. I don't know what else to do. I'm feeling like I'm the worst cat mom ever. I literally cannot afford any other vet visits or tests. From what I've read, everything after the normal bloodwork would likely end in expensive treatments or procedures. My mind is telling me I'm being terrible and selfish because I should have a job no matter how much it hurts, and if he passes because of this, it's my fault. No matter what you believe, if you pray/talk to the gods/entreat the universe, please do so on his behalf. He desperately needs to eat and gain weight. I'll update after the syringe tomorrow.

[sanmagic7]

fingers crossed and prayers flying, CF. we all have our limitations, and you have hit yours, and that's not your fault, nor does it make you a bad cat mom.  unfortunately, we can't do everything we want.  that might sound trite, but it's what i have to tell myself when it comes to my D.  it's a terrible place to be in for you, watching this happen.  i've had pets. we feel responsible for them like they're our kids.  i hope Varrick pulls out of this.  sending loving vibes to you both w/ a hug filled w/ wellness and health.

[Armee]

Gentle hugs, Sage. Im so sorry AND it is not your fault your cat is sick. And often when these things happen, no amount of vet visits or money makes it better. You are giving Varric a very very good life and lots of love. That's what he needs. 

[CactusFlower]

Thank you, san and armee. He's still eating the regular dry cat food, so that's something. I have to just remind myself that he still plays and cuddles and acts normal and.. let's just say the litterbox is normal. Frustrating little boy!

Tired already today. I got a few dishes done, then put some chicken in the slow cooker to try a honey garlic recipe I found. It gets lots of good reviews, so we'll see.  Smells good, lol. Resting now so I can get a shower later. At least this week is warm weather, so that's nice. If it hits the upper 60's like they say it will on Saturday, I might air the house out a bit. I can tell spring is very soon, I'm getting that urge to clean. I can't do much at a time, but the urge is there.  I'm also wanting heavy hot food less and less. I discussed with my T Monday how I can eat healthier in the summer, and the slow cooker and instant pot will feature a lot, LOL. I need to learn to eat more leftovers and make basics like shredded chicken that can make several other things. I mean, I know how, I just need to do it. Maybe I can convince bro to help me Saturday or Sunday to have a freezer-cleaning day.  Learning to ask for help is half the lesson, I know.

[CactusFlower]

Good and bad week -

Bad - fighting with Tmobile about returning something and changing to a cheaper plan. Stress causing more pain and nightmares. Also, getting the nutritional gel down Varric is quite the tiring battle each time.
Good - made a really good recipe mid-week, bro got me a new pillow and stress balls/hand exercisers, I got myself a water bottle and am hydrating well so far. On my bad day, bro was sweet and went to get ice cream and stopped to get me my favorite healthy treat, dried banana chips.
Best - I submitted one of my reworked memoir chapters for an anthology being published by someone in my writing critique group. Not too much anxiety, I consider it a win I even did so. Will know mid-April-ish if it made it in.

[CactusFlower]

Yay for family dinner tonight. Since all the St. Patrick's Day (or Irish Pride Day if you're not religious, LOL) sales were on, bro got a lovely corned beef and I have that in the crockpot with some potatoes and onions. BFF made soda bread and will bring that, bro is making mashed potatoes, and I'll put on some cabbage later. I like low effort meals.

Heh, Pumpkin has the kitty crazies at the moment. I call it "the bowling ball with claws". She has momentum, LOL.

Not too bad otherwise. Physically exhausted from various things, but decent mood for a change.