Feeling fear on waking

[Dustbright]

Do any of you experience this? On waking sometimes, I can just feel a miasma of fear in me. Fear, anxiety and dread. It happened this morning . I remember my dream. It wasn't a nightmare, but I could feel the fear then as well.

I imagine this is the CPTSD related to my unreleased pain from trauma. Anyone have tips on how to handle it? Maybe find a way to release it?

[saylor]

When I was still working, it was very common for me to awaken (in the middle of the night) in a panic, with my brain obsessing over some current worry or other. It was more of a worry thing than a fear or terror thing, for me. I'm sure cortisol was involved. I used to call the phenomenon The Witching Hour. Even awakening later in the morning was unpleasant but not quite as worry-filled as the regular wee-hours ones that I'd experience

Now that I'm retired, it's nowhere near as bad. Release from work stress no doubt helped. I'm also taking supplements before bed that seem to be helping: valerian, melatonin, ashwagandha, L-theanine

Hopefully I'm not harming myself by popping all those capsules and tablets daily (I can't find much good info on whether it's bad to combine them, or to use them regularly). At this point, I guess I'm willing to take the risk. I got sick of the poor sleep and racing heart

[Blueberry]

Hi Dustbright,

I think I sometimes wake up with anxiety and/or dread but I don't actually feel them. I think they're there - I'm basing that on my reactions like hiding under the bedcovers and definitely not getting out of bed for hours even sometimes when I have to because train to catch, appointment to go to etc.

I think it's maybe Pete Walker who mentions 'waking in an EF' as a thing. I've certainly read about it somewhere. Could that be what you're experiencing?

[Kizzie]

I used to wake up in fear a lot before I retired as though each day was the day I would get caught out or crumble in an EF. Like Saylor that has reduced a lot since I retired and no longer have a lot of responsibilities or contact with others (i.e., so don't have the triggers I used to).

I don't have any great tips except to share what I'm doing re feeling depression (versus fear) on waking lately. Based on the recovery info I've read and talked about here and time in therapy, basically I'm just trying to listen and feel what it's saying to me, what's driving it. If I can look at it straight on, feel it, perhaps I can get to where it's coming from and address and integrate it.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help, but just wanted you to know you're not alone. ON the plus side if there is one, I do believe that when these feelings/thoughts begin to leak out into consciousness is a signal that we're ready to deal with them. Mine were on tight lockdown for years, decades really and it was only when I was triggered into an EF that they would flood up to the surface.

[Dustbright]

Thanks for the replies everyone -

I'm not working now, so it's unrelated to work anxiety from the day. It must be some kind of EF being triggered, maybe from unpleasant internet interactions that I'm having. I think the person who said that I'm probably ready to address these fears is correct since I'm conscious of them now. It's just knowing how to process the feelings when I'm half asleep is very difficult!