Hi all
Haven't posted for a while thanks for being here ..
A friend of 7 yrs has been significantly mentally unstable this past 2 yrs it's been difficult with her and I feel I've reached my limit .
A private psych said to her he thinks she has bpd . She already has cptsd diagnosis as do I and untreated sexual abuse from f ...
I've been seeing more a more manipulative behaviour , chaotic and pushing pulling behaviour , backtracking and contradicting self , huge emotional fall out from loss / abandonment stuff and suicidal expressions . We are both in 12 step programmes and I know she is going from person to person with her stuff and people telling her she needs outside support ...
I can also see a lot of her giving to me is to do with her clinging and am seeing more and more her lack of empathy ..
I am unwell physically with chronic health and she called me out recently saying I'm not listening to her like her other friends ... ( Not so long ago she said I was the friend she could speak to the most ) ...I said to her have I not been there the last 2 yrs supporting -- she didn't answer ..
Today I've put a boundary in and said I can't have contact unless she gets MH support ...this I was able to do with someone else's support to me ..
She said she is seeking cptsd support but i can't see this being enough ...anyway that's her bag and responsibility ..
For me I didn't see how unwell she was until this last 2 yrs ...
Before that she was reasonably stable and we had a good friendship .
She has been my closet friend..
I'm just kicking myself how did I choose someone with bpd after all the therapy and work I've done on myself I feel a failure ...
But I know I'm still healing and I did enter the friendship a long time ago
I don't know at this point if this friendship .can or should continue ...
I'd Def have to have a frank conversation with her , call some things out and put some boundaries in ....but that's for the future and maybe for our sister forum .
Thing is I can't trust who I pick as friends even now cause I know I gravitate towards people with issues just like I have issues ...
I lost another long term friend last yr after seeing her dysfunction more clearly ..
I'm doomed
Lonely and doomed errr I have CFS and am pretty housebound so it's not like I'm getting opportunity to be out in society and mixing ..
I do have support in my community from other people I know friends who are more on the wider network if u see what I mean ...
People fr 12 step , gardens where I volunteered , church etc ...
I feel blessed for that ..
This will be the first time in my life I won't have anyone close close to me ...and I'm at my most vunerable due to housebound ...
It's scarey
All experience and help appreciated
Thank u !