Childhood stress caused vitiligo (TW)

Started by Pioneer, March 16, 2021, 04:28:02 AM

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Pioneer

I've had vitiligo (an autoimmune skin condition which causes patches of skin to lose color) since I was a preteen. I was pretty aware at the time that it was caused by stress, because I knew I had been extremely stressed and sick and it appeared around that time. When I was sick this particular time, I was not allowed really to be sick or to rest and recover and wasn't taken to the doctor. I also had a loss/grief I wasn't able/allowed to deal with at the time.

I finally went to a doctor for a wellness check up and when they weighed me, I weighed less than I had two years prior. The doctor was concerned. She asked if I'd had any stress. Stress? My whole life was stress. But my answer (with my NP sitting right there) was that I didn't know. My m gave an answer that was true but that of course didn't show any kind of family responsibility or fault for the stress. The doctor didn't seem totally reassured by our non-answers, but what could she do?  :Idunno:

It is only recently that I realized that the vitiligo was a result of stress which was a result of trauma.

The physical part doesn't bother me, in fact it's faded over the years and no one even notices. It's just the realization of the cause that is hitting home for me. It is proof that the somewhat invisible abuse of neglect and emotional abuse was real. It helps me acknowledge it once again.

Not Alone

Quote from: Pioneer on March 16, 2021, 04:28:02 AM
It's just the realization of the cause that is hitting home for me. It is proof that the somewhat invisible abuse of neglect and emotional abuse was real. It helps me acknowledge it once again.

Significant.

Bermuda

The autoimmune response link to trauma and stress is such a well-documented one. It's can be such a powerful realisation, both with positive and negative aspects. Acknowleging those feelings now is such a great step forward on your journey. :)

Pioneer

Thanks, notalone and Bermuda! It is pretty significant to be realizing that at this stage of my journey. There is release in it, and also a feeling that I can move on.

dollyvee

#4
I can relate to auto immune stuff. Have been having health issues for a few years and had to fight with doctors to recognize it as they told me it was in my head. It was when I started to read about adverse childhood experiences and stress and their connection to autoimmune disorders that I began to put it together. Going gluten and dairy free helped me a lot.

Pioneer

I'm sorry that you've had to deal with autoimmune stuff, dollyvee, and that the doctors told you it was all in your head. Unfortunately, that seems to be a fairly common response from doctors as my husband and I have seen through his health issues and experinces with various doctors. It adds so much unnecessary stress and confusion when they don't listen to you. I'm glad that you found diets that have helped you a lot. It sounds like you have persevered and figured out what you had and the cause of it and what you needed to do. That takes a lot of hard work. Good job  :applause:

dollyvee

Thanks Pioneer and am sorry that you had to go through that stuff as well. Most medicine doesn't take into account emotional factors on health enough yet even though the impacts of stress are documented. Or at least there's a big separation between doctors recognizing stress and being able to diagnose and deal with the impacts of long term childhood stress. It's unfortunate (and angering and shaming) for ppl like us who have been through childhood trauma to be told something along the lines of who do you think you are when you have kept yourself alive for all those years.

Lol it was so much hard work, or a work in progress, but another big lesson in taking care of myself and unpacking all that other stuff. 

Hope that you both have found what works for you as well  :hug:

Pioneer

Thanks dollyvee  :hug: It sure is a big lesson in caring and advocating for ourselves. We are still on a crazy and long road of dealing with our health issues. We have come a long way though and we can see helpful and good things happening. We have had to push and persevere and work together but we can see positive results.

Pioneer

I also want to give credit to God who I believe has clearly opened so many doors and brought healing in unexpected ways for me and my family.

Not Alone


Pioneer