I think I dissociated today....

[CactusFlower]

I did some inner child work this morning and she remembered an unpleasant memory I'd mostly forgotten. That was around 9am or so.

I know I reheated something for lunch, and did some writing, then had ice cream later... But beyond that, I've zoned out most of the day. It's a quarter to 6pm now. How is it that late already? I'm normally a bit more aware of how I spend my time, so I can only think the day was not wanting to deal with what my inner child brought. Now I feel kinda guilty and useless for "wasting" my day. Is this dissociation? It kinda feels like the day happened to someone else, or I just imagined it? This feels very odd now that I'm trying to be mindful of it. I also feel like it's time to eat dinner but I'm not particularly hungry. I couldn't tell you if the ice cream (wasn't much) was 2 hours ago, though, or right after lunch.

Sage

[Kizzie]

FWIW I think it's important you are aware you may have dissociated. I've found that it helps to know something is triggering (vs feeling uneasy but not know why because I push it down/away), and then edge toward it a bit at a time, in small doses until I can tolerate looking at whatever it is & feeling the pain/fear/sadness. 

Doesn't sound like a wasted day 

[CactusFlower]

HUG thank you! I definitely didn't disparage myself as much as usual once I was aware of it. And the evening was better. Thank you!

[Kizzie]