Trusting professionals

[Gromit]

I wonder if I have an issue trusting professionals.

I did a counselling course and found it hard to trust the therapist I had, plus some of the people who were teaching the course.

Now my child has ongoing health issues and I struggle to trust the doctor and now the consultants, apart from her surgeon, he is brutally honest and I like that. Everyone else I feel may be judging me and they seems to change their minds about what we have to do. I am not sure they know what they are doing.

As I write this I realise it is not all professionals, just those who seem shaky, unable to admit they don't know or impart bad news. Those who are plainly honest, even if I may not like what they say, I have more trust in.

G

[Pioneer]

Yes, I can really relate to feeling more trust around people who are brutally honest and just real. I tend to be drawn to such people. It is a refreshing contrast to the deception and confusion I knew growing up.

I had a therapist session today with my fairly new therapist who I seem to trust fairly well and I am learning to trust. And she challenged me to think though what things I look for in people that would cause me to trust them. And also to think through what characteristics cause me to not trust people. And she wanted me to write those things down. I honestly have not stopped to think about what those things are just yet. But I do think that honest, straightforward responses are one characteristic that cause me to trust people.

[Gromit]

I think, on reflection, some of this may be because I do not understand the reasons for their actions, or, I do, but feel they are trying to get human beings to fit into boxes. There have been lots of examples in my life where we do not fit easily into boxes and professionals have used their experience to make decisions rather than rigidly sticking to the rules.

For example, the midwife weighing my son, said he was alert so the weight loss may not be a problem and allowed me a couple of days to get feeding established. The health visitor measuring the same son, 'oh, he is off the height table this week, but next week the table will have caught up with him'. My daughter, hadn't rolled, crawled etc, but she was a nifty bottom shuffler, who was still referred for not hitting the milestones, the consultant paediatrician took one look at her and said, 'she doesn't miss a trick, come back if she still isn't walking at 2 years'.

And now, a year since discharge from hospital, with only video consultations since then, my daughter was given one target for her weight, which, given her brothers own measurements seemed reasonable to me, he is well over average height but slim, and he hasn't been ill. Now, we have a letter about a physical appointment in a few weeks and the consultant says her weight should be another 5kgs higher, which may be the average weight for someone her age, but seems completely unachievable given she hasn't quite reached the previous target.

And I know this may or may not be impacted by my own experience and issues but I am stuck in the middle between child and doctors with no control over either of them. Plus the doctor's hint at eating disorders, whilst my child knows they will not do what she wants until she reaches a certain weight so it doing her best to reach it.

G

[Gromit]

I had a therapist session today with my fairly new therapist who I seem to trust fairly well and I am learning to trust. And she challenged me to think though what things I look for in people that would cause me to trust them. And also to think through what characteristics cause me to not trust people. And she wanted me to write those things down. I honestly have not stopped to think about what those things are just yet. But I do think that honest, straightforward responses are one characteristic that cause me to trust people.

I think these are useful things to think about, and could help when dealing with all people, I will try and find out what my things are.
Thank you

[Not Alone]

As I write this I realise it is not all professionals, just those who seem shaky, unable to admit they don't know or impart bad news. Those who are plainly honest, even if I may not like what they say, I have more trust in.
G

I feel the same way. Also agree with what you say about some professionals just try to fit you into their boxes.

It must be really difficult dealing with professionals who are supposed to be helping your daughter. I pray that you have discernment and wisdom about who to believe and trust and who not to trust.