Victim Impact Statement

[bluepalm]

Although I usually think of myself as a survivor of what happened to me from infancy onwards, I'm also a retired lawyer and recently a poem came to me in the legalistic form of a victim impact statement.

Victim Impact Statement

You damaged me irretrievably

You stole any possibility of my feeling safe, contented, warmed, loved, wanted, precious

You condemned me to a lifetime of isolation and loneliness

You deprived me of human touch and acceptance

You made me feel I was living in a war zone - hungry, thirsty, frightened

And you did it with malice aforethought

You were evil

[Armadillo]

Powerful. Thank you for sharing!

[Jazzy]

That's terrible bluepalm, I'm so sorry you were treated like this, especially intentionally! 

But, I also want to say "good job" on writing out a poem in a way that connects with your life (legalistic form of a victim impact statement). It's really helpful to process this stuff, and writing it out like this is a good way  to accomplish that.

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Bluepalm. That is impactful to me. I get irritated with people's condemning attitude of "victim mentality." I was a victim and I still consider myself a victim because I continue to suffer from what was done to me.

[bluepalm]

Thank you Armadillo, jazzy, notalone, for your kind and validating responses to my poem.

[Blueberry]

Yes, thank you a lot for sharing this, bluepalm. Very meaningful. I'm sorry you had to experience that evil.

Thank you notalone for writing about being a victim. Reading that really helped me in the past couple of days, which I wrote a little about in my Journal.

[woodsgnome]

Sad it so often comes to this; sadder still it will never probably affect the perpetrators. Sadder still, it's so true to have it all still hurt so terribly. Saddest of all, nothing will ever fix the total absence of love and the lingering doubt that love actually exists.

All we're left with is 'some day, over the rainbow.' And why is the rainbow always only visible through tears?

Thank you, bluepalm, for sharing a bit of your heart with these words. 

[Aish]

The word irretrievably hit hard, I always think of the word indelible but I feel like those words mean the exact same thing in this CPTSD context.

I mean what do you do when you are hurt in such a way?  How do you empower yourself to overcome something that you can never forget?

I truly feel your pain, and I hope our solidarity helps.

Wishing you well.

[bluepalm]

Thank you all for your supportive responses. The solidarity and kindness of this lovely community has made a huge difference to my life and how I manage my trauma. Having this forum in which to articulate my feelings and receive validating responses is precious beyond words.