1, 2, 3!

[Jazzy]

One thing that has been in my mind a lot lately, is the idea that how much, or little, we value ourselves is a crucial part of managing CPTSD, or at least the symptoms of relational trauma.

My first thought was about the "3 good things a day" threads. Those are really great! It is important to make time to reflect on the good and not get overwhelmed by the bad. While that is absolutely helpful, trauma goes deeper than learning to look at the good. So then I thought about how that idea could be tailored to be more trauma informed. So here is what I've come up with... and now that I've read the pinned topics on this sub-forum I see most of them are already listed, but maybe it would still be good to have 3 major ones in a single thread for the sake of convenience.

1,2,3!

Appreciation:
What is a positive character trait that I have, or a good thing I've done today? It's okay to re-use the same one, especially at first.

Emotion:
What did I feel today, and optionally, why? Numbness (or depression) counts too!

Accomplishment:
What did I accomplish today? This can be anything, no matter how small. "I got out of bed." is a totally valid accomplishment sometimes.


I always like to hear feedback that others are willing to share. This is just my ideas from my experience, and I'm sure everyone has their opinion on what works best for them.

[Armadillo]

I LOVE this idea Jazzy. Thank you. You made me happy today. The reason I love it so much is because 1. Yes you are right...the devaluing of ourselves is pervasive and damaging and 2. I am a total Pollyanna and use looking on the bright side as a way to deflect from what is truly not ok, and that goes hand in hand with devaluing myself. So the 3 gratitude type practice is exceptionally easy for me but not actually that helpful.

So I will play! And in response to what you wrote...great job cooking the meat in your fridge! Those types of tasks are challenging to get to and you deserve kudos for that! And I can tell you are a helpful person and am glad you can recognize that gift
--------------------

1,2,3!
Appreciation: I was very present today with work and family and did not spend much time disconnected. And the time I did spend disconnected I will forgive myself for.

Emotion: I felt a bit of grief today.  And because I am a Pollyanna this is really important for me to feel.

Accomplishment: I got out of bed without delaying today. This is good because I often get stuck in a bit of a dissociated mindset that I can't shake for several hours when I linger in bed between sleep and awake. Also, I wasn't late getting my kids to school. Double win.

[Not Alone]

Great idea, Jazzy.

1. Appreciation: In looking for a job, I believe I'm pretty good at the things I do. I'm not perfect, but most of the jobs I've had, I do pretty well. Some of that stems from hard work, but a lot of it comes from being attuned to people and caring about them.
2. Emotion: I feel sad after reading Bluepalm's poem. I feel excited about a job possibility. I feel scared about the job possibility.
3. Accomplishment: I made breakfast.

[CactusFlower]

I love this idea!
1. Appreciation: I know I can fix things around the house and when to let a pro do it, and have no problem telling the landlord when something needs done.
2. Emotion: I was happy today after our bathtub faucet was fixed because they should last another 2 years or so on those washers.
3. Accomplishment: I made sure a nasty old rug that sat around for far too long finally made its way to the curb for a large item trash pickup tomorrow.

[Jazzy]

Wow, the positive feedback here is awesome!  Thank you, everyone! I thought I would be doing this by myself, but it is very encouraging to have others join in too. I hope it is helpful though, which is the most important thing.

1. Appreciation: A stranger said hello and waved from across the street when I went out for a jog this morning. I appreciate that I was able to pay this forward when I came across someone else later on, by complimenting their shoes.
2. Emotion: I felt connected by my interactions with others. I felt sad that my communication style doesn't work very well with everyone. I feel hopeful that I can do better at communicating in the future.
3. Accomplishment: I made some major breakthroughs in my "work" today, which is really my passion, and not so much work. Hopefully one day I can make money by "working" at my passion.
3. Accomplishment: I hid my weigh scale in the closet, because I keep checking it, but a weigh scale is not a good tool to show how my body looks, or what my BMI is.

[Armadillo]

Appreciation: about myself huh...I'm good at getting people to support good projects at work.
Emotion: Sad. This is one of those where I don't FEEL sad, I have no sad thoughts, but my eyes are watering. So I'm going to say I feel sad. 
Accomplishment: I went to the dentist. Blerg. First time since before covid. I hate it. It is sensory overload and I hate people being close to my face touching my face.

[Jazzy]

Sounds like a tough day Armadillo. I hope you can process some of that sadness. Good job on your accomplishment, and appreciation! Hope you're feeling better soon.

[CactusFlower]

1. Appreciation: I admitted in therapy I've been procrastinating about finding a new doctor and we figured out it's because I hate starting over from scratch.
2. Emotion: I was grateful and happy when my Bro brought back cake slices from the store "just because we needed a treat".
3. Accomplishment: I made the doctor's appointment AND told the landlord about an issue.

[Jazzy]

A big part of me wants to reply to everything posted here, but I'm not sure this is the best place. If I write something here that I wouldn't mind some feedback on, I'll put it in my journal as well.

1. Appreciation: I'm usually pretty good at "connecting the dots", and coming up with new ideas.
2. Emotion: Today I felt frustrated because I couldn't figure something out, then I felt overwhelmed because I kept trying instead of setting it aside, then coming back to it later.
3. Accomplishment: I shared a song with my sister, which she really liked!

[Armadillo]

Appreciation. I was able to buckle down and get something urgent done without too much wasted time.
Emotion. Shame
Accomplishment. I keep reminding myself when I feel shame what role it is playing, which is to distract me from one of the "unsafe" emotions like sadness, fear,  and anger. And that prompts me to reflect on what I might really be feeling even if my brain is hiding it from me.

[Jazzy]

1. Appreciation: After failing to look after myself yesterday, I did a much better job today. I appreciate myself being able to improve my behaviour like that.
2. Emotion: Today I mostly felt happy and accomplished.
3. Accomplishment: I was able to take some constructive criticism today better than I normally do (that's so difficult!!!!)

[CactusFlower]

1. Appreciation: I was able to state when I was out of spoons for the day and go home rather than pushing myself too hard.
2. Emotion: I was amused as all heck to find my brother accidentally put the Cheetos in the freezer. it made me laugh for at least 5 minutes.
3. Accomplishment: We got the cat food we needed at the store.

[Armadillo]

Appreciation I am someone at work that people can talk to about hard stuff and I think just by listening I helped someone today.

Emotion Grateful.  Grateful that what I've gone through gives me something not many others have to offer.

Accomplishment wow. This one is the hard one today....why is that? Oh here's a good one. I have therapy today and I have been intentionally not bringing up the thing that I made such amazing progress on because i just wanted some space to revel in it before stirring it up again. But last night i did some therapy homework on this so we can start working on it again today. Maybe some of that is avoiding the other topic that comes up whenever i feel close to done in therapy. But still I'm proud of myself for filling out the sheets on this other thing. I'll write more in my journal later.

[Jazzy]

Thank you everyone who is participating. It is really encouraging for me to read the posts here, and I hope it is encouraging for others as well. I even appreciate the ones with "negative" emotions, because I find it so helpful to be aware of what I am feeling and why, even if I don't like it.

Appreciation: I am able to use my intellect to help me better understand how to treat others well, and I am seeing great success, especially with my cats.
Emotion: Today hasn't been very emotional, but I was guardedly happy to receive a good gift from my M (wow, that's quite something, usually M is toxic to me)
Accomplishment: I made some good progress in looking after myself better today. On top of what I wrote in my journal about [TW] eating and exercise, I have noticed some other health concerns which I am addressing.

[CactusFlower]

Appreciation: I can appreciate that I do know how to make healthy food choices and can most of the time.
Emotion: I've been struggling the last few days with feeling... guilty? lazy? I don't know. Like I should have done more in general by now. My birthday is tomorrow and I feel like I wasted a year.
Accomplishment: I managed to go do a walmart pickup and get the things I forgot last trip.