[HomerJ]

Does anyone else find they are constantly altering between anxiety and depression? As I get older it seems to happen quicker but I am not sure

I find it exhausting, e.g. on Tuesday I had anxiety which made it difficult to do anything, I didn't punish myself I tried to find some ways to cope and found it by re-reading a book I bought a couple of years ago. Yesterday was great but now today I woke up and I'm just really low energy and can't think straight (it may be linked to waking up in the middle of the night after a trauma related dream) but I don't know. I know I can just go for a run and I'll feel better because it isn't really bad but I find the constant nature difficult to manage

Can anybody relate to this?

[Hope67]

Hi HomerJ,
I do relate to what you're saying.  I'm glad that you were able to find some help in the book you read. 
I know you described finding it 'exhausting' and I hope that you are able to feel some rest and that you are ok.
Hope 

[Armadillo]

Absolutely, yes, I relate to that. I think the moods feed each other. For me it seems to be like this: trigger --> dissociation  --> anxiety cause I don't understand what happened --> negative thoughts for being like this --> depression --> recover. Repeat.

I'm wondering though...in your other post you said you reread the Body Keeps the Score and I loved the book but it definitely triggered me and made me anxious. It can be a tough read. So maybe you have more control over your moods if you can pick up the things that trigger them and counteract them with something that makes you feel calm or happy before the moods get too strong? Not that I am very good at doing that myself...

[HomerJ]

Yeah maybe I should just read things when I need them.

Rather than reading them when I'm feeling okay and they trigger me back. E.g. I read the body keeps the score before bed just because that's when I read for fun, even if that didn't cause my bad dream (how could I ever know if it did or not?) I need to have that time where I am not thinking about ways to recover. And like you said if I do decide to read then I can't immediately sleep after I need to watch/read/listen to something that would make me calmer again.

[Hope67]

Hi HomerJ,
What you wrote makes a lot of sense.  I am going to think about that myself, as I think I spend such a lot of time msyelf on trying to read things to help with recovery, but in the process of that, it's triggering in itself. 

I hope you have been able to have some calmer nights so you can sleep better.
Hope