as a therapist, i ran the gamut of thinking 'i should' be able to deal with these traumatic memories, incidents, and situations and how they impacted me, and i 'should' be able to figure it out myself. what i've learned over the years is that medicine, whether it's for the mind or the body, is something to utilize in order to function on a day to day basis, to be able to have the stability in order to work through my issues, and to be able to heal from my wounds.
for me, the God part became a comfort, knowing that there are many techniques and therapy, including medication therapy, that have been created to help those of us who suffer. just like crutches might be used when one breaks their leg, having and using the crutches helps the leg to heal by keeping the pressure off the break. they're not necessarily forever, but we can rejoice that they were created to help us move around in the world until the healing is complete. that will be different for everyone - some injuries are worse than others, some impact us differently than they do others. imagine the pain involved, the instability produced, and the fears that present themselves in attempting to do your everyday life with no help for a broken leg.
meds are not an easy decision, but a very personal one. during my days as a sunday school teacher, i heard the story of the man who climbed to his roof as floodwaters rose around his house. someone on a boat came by and offered help, but the man said 'i'm waiting for God to save me.' then, as the waters rose to the roof, a helicopter came by offering assistance. the man turned it away, citing the same reason. after the man drowned and went to heaven, he asked God why He didn't save him. God said 'i sent a boat and a helicopter, and you refused them both. what were you waiting for?'
i don't repeat this story to sound trite or disrespectful or preachy, but only to say that this story helped me look at the resources and assistance available to me, and that they were all valid. i'm using meds now, have had some newly prescribed to treat other symptoms which have shown up as the years (and more trauma took place) passed. i'm grateful for them now, because i'm getting some relief for the pain and suffering my traumas have caused me. they may not be necessary forever, but for now they help. i know you'll find the best way for you. may i offer a hug filled with faith
