My DD asked me this recently, another of our bedtime discussions.
It stumped me. I seem to lurch from one fearful episode to another, I don’t think self acceptance comes into my experience.
I asked my OH as he, although quick to temper, never seems troubled by any self doubts. He said, occasionally he thinks about how life has turned out, not as he might have dreamed but, you just have to ‘get on with things’ and, once he had thought about it some more, ‘focus on the positives’.
My DD and I asked, what about when people just say, ‘cheer up, it might never happen’ when you are quietly minding your own business? He had no response, I don’t think it happens to him, the kind of criticism that comes from other people whether you want it or not. I am not saying it only happens to women, but it does seem that other people (both men and women) are quite comfortable at offering their negative opinions on your appearance and behaviour, if you are female. My point being, it is hard to find any positives when other people point out the negatives that they see. I know, other people’s opinions are not facts and, I feel I should be able to discern if there is any truth in them and ignore them, if not. But, perhaps it is being accepted by others, as you are, which helps you to accept yourself. Maybe it is when you can accept others as they are it helps you to accept yourself too.
My DD did understand when I asked if she had an inner critic. Oh yes, and somehow I feel I have failed her because she does, but I can see that part of that may come from OH, he is great at passing doubt onto others, asking me, if I have locked my car, which makes me question myself, for example, and, whatever score she gets in tests, asking why she didn’t get the other 9% or whatever it is to get 100%, as she is usually in the top scores of the class.
Well done if you reached the end of my rambling about self acceptance, I tried to find some help here first but decided that I could ask instead. How do you accept yourself?
G