Hello! New at OOTS!

[runnerbabe33]

Hello!

I'm new here (I found OOTS from OOTF) and I'm glad I found this forum. I have CPTSD (I found the clinical definition years ago while reading a blog by a licensed therapist who specializes in PTSD/trauma, brought it up to my therapist and we decided that it fit me better than PTSD because of my traumatic childhood.

(TW going forward)

Right now I'm embarking on some more intensive therapy because I'm starting a new romantic relationship that I really want to work. I have so much trauma from abuse and violence (including CSA, parentification from my nMom and a series of abusive partners/domestic violence/sexual violence) Learning to trust a new partner is really hard but I do feel really lucky to have someone that respects and supports my boundaries and therapy journey.

Lately, I've been having emotional flashbacks as well as night terrors/nightmares (sleep has been an issue since i was a kid) where my new partner is hurting me in the same ways my past abusers did. I've talked with my therapist about it, and I know the night terrors/flashbacks aren't real but they leave me feeling panicked and anxious for hours. If anyone has any strategies for calming down from stuff like that, I'm all ears.

Thanks for reading!

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Runner 

Learning to trust a new partner is really hard but I do feel really lucky to have someone that respects and supports my boundaries and therapy journey.

FWIW IMO the fact that your new partner is supportive right from the get go is a big step in building trust.  Do they know about you having CPTSD?  If so there's quite a bit of info here and elsewhere online to give them so they know more about it.

Our reactions (flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, etc) to relationships are the ways we learned to keep people and thus trauma away so they do tend to kick in to keep us safe. Knowing that intellectually is one thing, but the felt danger in our body is quite another so doing some somatic/body work (breathing, yoga, meditation) may help. 
Also because trust is such an issue for most of us (and for good reason), going slowly in the relationship with the support of your T may help bring down your symptoms although I know that's hard in a new romance. 

[Branchy3]

Hi ..
I'm very new here too ..
Already had some lovely support:
It really helps...
❤️

[Dante]

I am also new.  Have only made an intro post so far, but just in the responses to that post alone I'm already grateful to have found acceptance and support.