trying not to use alcohol or drugs

[Armee]

 

You definitely deserve help but you may not feel like you do. I wish there were something I could do to help you see you deserve help and it'll be ok if you go slow.

[paul72]

hi Larry...
You sure do deserve help!!
What you don't deserve is that feeling of not being worthy of it.
I hope when the time is right, you find the right therapist to talk with.
I really did think I could do it without one.. mostly out of financial worries and time constraints.
I had a sticky note on my work desk that said "If you want a different result, do something different today", but it ticked me off too much so I got rid of it haha (just being honest)
I still think about it though and occasionally I even follow that advice... never with any regrets
Hope your day is better my friend.

[Larry]

I'm sorry,   i had a really bad week,   i didn't mean to be so negative.   

[Armee]

I'm sorry you had a rough week. We all get them and fall deep into hopelessness. How's tonight?

[Larry]

things have been a little better,  i am just trying to act normal.    i know i need help,  and i really want to get help.    I just don't know if i can do it.     
my wife has not had a drink in 27 days.    she wants me to stop or at least slow down.   that has been putting so much pressure on me,   and i can not seem to do it.  i feel like i am failing

[Armee]

I can't imagine the pressure you must be under from both yourself and your wife. Just remember you are not a failure no matter what happens. You are a good person and you are struggling but it isn't your fault. 

[paul72]

Hi Larry,

We all just want the best for you
I think if your wife has already quit and is going to be a support for you, that's a pretty big thing she has done (whether she did it for herself or you or both).
I'm not trying to add to the pressure.. quite the opposite (I hope)... It's just an awesome thing if you can make the big changes together with your partner... it might be a golden opportunity is all, especially since you didn't have to convince her to get on board with you I just know it's way harder to do things without your partner and it's a real gift if you can do it together.
For me, I worry my wife wouldn't love what she sees if she saw the real me.. that's almost an hourly fear still to be honest. But I have to trust her.. it's gotten to where I have no choice. The alternative is too difficult for me alone. I kinda just give in to it, if that makes sense. I'm not obviously great at it still, but it gets easier, and it's hugely beneficial.

As for getting help, a funny thing this morning as I got a reminder call about my therapy appointment tomorrow. I had thought it was Thursday. I got so excited.. so weird but it was like christmas was coming a day early. We might not "want" help, but it just might be what we all really need and long for.
I'm going to talk to mine tomorrow about some of the things I still am too afraid to reveal anywhere, which is pretty cool tbh.

No matter what, like Armee says, you are a good person Larry and I join us all in wanting nothing more than to see you happy and healthy 

[Bach]

things have been a little better,  i am just trying to act normal.    i know i need help,  and i really want to get help.    I just don't know if i can do it.     
my wife has not had a drink in 27 days.    she wants me to stop or at least slow down.   that has been putting so much pressure on me,   and i can not seem to do it.  i feel like i am failing

I know how hard this is, Larry.  I'm really struggling with it too.  I'm sick to death of cannabis and food but I can't seem to stop.  The feeling of failing is a trap because it makes me angry at myself, and being angry at myself drives my problematic behaviour.  It's all so frustrating! 

[Larry]

i have been doing better with not over drinking.   it has been over a week since i did,    i still have a few ,  my wife went over 30 days without a drink,  now she just will not stop.   she drank 24 beers in a 24 hour day.   she drinks until she passes out,   when she wakes up,  she starts again,   for 2 weeks now.   i really don't like it.   i only had 4 drinks today.     i don't know what to do.   i feel like i over drink to hurt myself.    i don't want to do that anymore.   i am so tired of hurting others and myself.                               

[Armee]

Oh Larry. That must have been so scary. That is really scary.

[Larry]

i don't want to be like this.     i try so hard.     i have been reading,  trying to learn how to help myself,      i want to start therapy again.   i really dont know what else to do.    i am so confused.      i feel better when i drink,  until it is too much,    i am so lost.....     i just want to be normal.

[Larry]

i need help..    my wife is drinking again,   i don't know what to do.   

[Larry]

anyone here tonight?   

[Larry]

I am not ready for the holiday season....     i want it to be over.    i tried last year to start new memories.     i can not do it this year !!!

[Larry]

I really need someone to talk to,    i get so lonely and depressed,   i don't want to drink,   but i don't know what else to do.