trying not to use alcohol or drugs

[Armee]

You can show up.  You are able to do that because you WANT to do that and you want to heal. This is the way to do it.

[Larry]

thank you Armee !  i only had 4 drinks today,  i am ready for tomorrow !  fisrst time in a while i have been able to say that.  i really appreciate all the support from everyone !!  i could not do this alone

[Larry]

monday night i really over drank,  but i didn't drive,  i didn't want to drink that much,  it just happened,  i  just couldn't stop.  only had  4 drinks yesterday,  i try not to drink at all,  or only have 2.  it almost feels like i am trying to punish myself by drinking.  my first session is Friday,  i am afraid to go,  but also feeling a little hopeful that it could help. 

[Armee]

Good job not driving! Just get yourself to therapy. That's the. Most important piece. Other than be kind to Larry.

[Larry]

thank you Armee !  i need to get out of the house today.  i left my jeep at the bar on monday,  it is still there.  i wanted to get it early today,  before they open.  i feel like i am wasting every day,  i want to do fun things again !  i washed some dishes this morning,  need to change sheets on my bed.  i am tored of being in this house !!

[Armee]

That's such a smart self caring thing to try to get it before they open. That sounds like a good time to head out for something fun. Oooh...paddleboarding or hot cocoa and a walk through a public garden! Ok I'm boring.

But do find something today that makes you feel good if you can!

[Larry]

we have some nature trails,  i need to do that more often,  it is really relaxing.  i know if i get out,  i will feel better. 

[Larry]

i stepped outside for a few minutes,  it's a little windy,  but nice and sunny.  been in the house all day.  i did change the sheets on my bed !  maybe i can go for a walk,  it's hard to leave the house,  i'm depressed at home but feel anxiety around people.  i need a quiet place outside where i can be alone. 

[Larry]

I went to the bar to get my jeep,  it has been there for 2 days,  i had 4 or 5 drinks,  i noticed the drinks started getting weaker,  I watched them make the drinks,  they were making them with less vodka on each drink.  I would rather have them  refuse to serve me,  do they think i can't taste the difference?  I am at home now,  going to make some drinks the way they should be  made !  I always tip them well,  why do i even bother.  it really made me a little angry.  i don't like to drink when i'm angry,  I will probably over drink

[Larry]

I wanted to smash that damn glass on the bar !!!

[Armee]

Hi Larry. It's ok. You are a good person. You'll get where you want to be. It isn't easy. It is hard as ****.

[Larry]

i don't know why i was so angry,  i would rather have them not serve me insteas of giving me weak drinks.  maybe it was a good thing,  i don't know.  feeling a little depressed this morning.  i need to find something that will make me happy again

[Larry]

having a hard time today,  drinking at home,  trying to be good to my wife,  she doesnt know what i deal with,  i tried to tell her,  i don't think anyone understands unless they have been through the things i have.  i just want to get drunk and forget,  nothing else works

[Armee]

Hey! Good job talking to your wife and trying to explain! That's a really hard step to take. It can take a long time for it to sink in.  Lots of sharing and explaining. But along the way you may get closer and build a stronger more supportive partnership. 

[Larry]

She doesn't know I went to a T session.  I stayed up late last night,  drank way too much,  i was watching music videos all night,  it really mad her mad,  I managed to make it to work this morning.  I just got home,  i am going to try not to drink today.  i really need to get some sleep.