trying not to use alcohol or drugs

Started by Larry, August 20, 2021, 02:56:04 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Armee

You can show up.  You are able to do that because you WANT to do that and you want to heal. This is the way to do it.

Larry

thank you Armee !  i only had 4 drinks today,  i am ready for tomorrow !  fisrst time in a while i have been able to say that.  i really appreciate all the support from everyone !!  i could not do this alone

Larry

monday night i really over drank,  but i didn't drive,  i didn't want to drink that much,  it just happened,  i  just couldn't stop.  only had  4 drinks yesterday,  i try not to drink at all,  or only have 2.  it almost feels like i am trying to punish myself by drinking.  my first session is Friday,  i am afraid to go,  but also feeling a little hopeful that it could help. 

Armee

Good job not driving! Just get yourself to therapy. That's the. Most important piece. Other than be kind to Larry.

Larry

thank you Armee !  i need to get out of the house today.  i left my jeep at the bar on monday,  it is still there.  i wanted to get it early today,  before they open.  i feel like i am wasting every day,  i want to do fun things again !  i washed some dishes this morning,  need to change sheets on my bed.  i am tored of being in this house !!

Armee

That's such a smart self caring thing to try to get it before they open. That sounds like a good time to head out for something fun. Oooh...paddleboarding or hot cocoa and a walk through a public garden! Ok I'm boring.

But do find something today that makes you feel good if you can!

Larry

we have some nature trails,  i need to do that more often,  it is really relaxing.  i know if i get out,  i will feel better. 

Larry

i stepped outside for a few minutes,  it's a little windy,  but nice and sunny.  been in the house all day.  i did change the sheets on my bed !  maybe i can go for a walk,  it's hard to leave the house,  i'm depressed at home but feel anxiety around people.  i need a quiet place outside where i can be alone. 

Larry

I went to the bar to get my jeep,  it has been there for 2 days,  i had 4 or 5 drinks,  i noticed the drinks started getting weaker,  I watched them make the drinks,  they were making them with less vodka on each drink.  I would rather have them  refuse to serve me,  do they think i can't taste the difference?  I am at home now,  going to make some drinks the way they should be  made !  I always tip them well,  why do i even bother.  it really made me a little angry.  i don't like to drink when i'm angry,  I will probably over drink

Larry

I wanted to smash that damn glass on the bar !!!

Armee

Hi Larry. It's ok. You are a good person. You'll get where you want to be. It isn't easy. It is hard as ****.

Larry

i don't know why i was so angry,  i would rather have them not serve me insteas of giving me weak drinks.  maybe it was a good thing,  i don't know.  feeling a little depressed this morning.  i need to find something that will make me happy again

Larry

having a hard time today,  drinking at home,  trying to be good to my wife,  she doesnt know what i deal with,  i tried to tell her,  i don't think anyone understands unless they have been through the things i have.  i just want to get drunk and forget,  nothing else works

Armee

Hey! Good job talking to your wife and trying to explain! That's a really hard step to take. It can take a long time for it to sink in.  Lots of sharing and explaining. But along the way you may get closer and build a stronger more supportive partnership. 

Larry

She doesn't know I went to a T session.  I stayed up late last night,  drank way too much,  i was watching music videos all night,  it really mad her mad,  I managed to make it to work this morning.  I just got home,  i am going to try not to drink today.  i really need to get some sleep.