I really need someone to talk to

[Larry]

My wife doesnt get it.  She knows I was abused and abandoned.  I do not want to constantly remind her.  I can not keep doing this ,  it is just too painful.  I am lost and don't know if I can go on.  She gets pissed if i can not be functional ,  maybe it is time

[Bermuda]

If this is an emergency, please find the appropriate emergency contact or hotline in your country.

I can really relate to having a spouse who cannot even imagine what I have been through, and also finds it very difficult when I cannot function. It can make it very difficult to establish equality in the relationship when one person both feels and is made to feel like their contribution is less. It is a horrible feeling that you are a burden on those around you.

I just want to tell you that what we go through to function is more than equal. There are many things that seem insignificant for others that may be moving mountains for you, and your efforts, no matter how succesful the outcomes are IS valid. As a survivor you ARE strong. You have made it so far.

When people are struggling with more outwardly visible illnesses they may get more support and understanding, but I, as well as many others, can relate to your daily struggle. It is very real.

It's important to try to have compassion for ourselves, and to try to parent ourselves in the way we never experienced.

You are more than C-PTSD, you are a complex person with needs and feelings, and you are worthy of having those needs met.

Sometimes people who I've known for ten years still need a reminder when I have an incident. To others C-PTSD is just something they can forget about, it's not constant like it often is for us. It's good to remind people about what you are going though even if it's nothing they can ever grasp. Your voice is important.

I hope the community here can help you to feel better. You're not alone in this.

[Blueberry]

If this is an emergency, please find the appropriate emergency contact or hotline in your country.

From our Guidelines on suicide posts: "For the safety and well-being of all OOTS members, only posts that talk about suicide/self-harm in a very general sense will be permitted in this forum. Sadly there have been an increasingly number of posts about feeling suicidal/wanting to self-harm and as much as members of OOTS may want to help, none of us are trained to do so. Posts which do talk about current intent directly or indirectly will be removed and the poster will be advised to contact a professional ASAP."

Please read the following https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=5897.0 

There is information and a number of links to professionals you can speak to or email.

Also from our Guidelines "Don't wait though if your thoughts persist, reach out for professional help. Contact your physician or therapist, a local Emergency Room" or one of the organisations listed at the link above.

[Papa Coco]

I'm a believer in emotional helplines for when we really, really need to talk. They're trained listeners and have tools and referal networks that can actually help. I used to have friends who worked on helplines. They were compassionate people. They helped a lot.

[Larry]

thank you,  I am really trying to find a support group or at least someone to talk to.  I am not sure about help lines,  i am worried they might call police and baker act me. 

[Kizzie]

I echo what others have written Larry.  It's crucial that you get help in real life if you are considering suicide.  You can also go to your local ER, normally you will be seen by a psych resident/doctor who can get you the help you need.

I'm afraid we don't allow posts about intent to commit suicide here because it's just so important to go and get help and because it's traumatizing for members.  I do hope you'll reach out to a telephone help resource or your ER, they are trained and want to help.

We really do care and that's why were suggesting this 

[Larry]

thank you !

[Larry]

If i call a hotline,  will they call police and baker act me ?

[Larry]

I am scared and don't know what to do ?

[Larry]

going to the er 

[Kizzie]

Hi Larry, I don't know of any hotline that does that.  I am so sorry you re feeling as badly as you are right now.  Really glad you've decided to reach out in real life.  You are worth it and deserve to live a life where you are not in pain.

Please let us know how you're doing, we do care.   

[Larry]

I am doing ok,  went to the er,  cried in the parking lot for 2 hours,  went home exhausted.  I have been working hard today trying to bury and supress my emotions and feelings.  Things are usually better when I am numb. 

[Larry]

Anyone here to talk?    i really need a friend right now

[Kizzie]

What's going on Larry?

[Armee]

Sending you love and support. It's painful but you've got this. You CAN handle these emotions. You can feel them without hurting yourself or others. Give little 6/7 year old You a hug. It's not his fault his dad left. There's nothing wrong with Larry.