I really need someone to talk to

[Larry]

i really don't know.....

[Larry]

anyone here tonight ?

[Armee]

 

Hi!

I don't know if it helps but I'm often knocked on my butt after a couple good days, or a good feeling etc. The blowback can be tough. I think we are all super familiar with the one step forward two steps back routine. Over time you might start to notice that your steps forward get bigger, and your steps backward get smaller, and you are making progress getting better. It is almost imperceptible until one day you realize how far you've come.

You did really good today I think! I'm sorry you feel especially bad right now and that things are hard with your wife. Its super hard to be vulnerable and tell anyone how much we struggle. I find it's helpful but I know it's so hard and I still take months to tell my husband anything.

[Larry]

anyone here tonight?   

[Larry]

i am really scared and just need someone to talk too....   i'm sorry,  i don't want to bother anyone,...   i really need help.....

[Larry]

why is it so hard,  i just want to be like everyine else,    i jus want to be happy,...   noone understands the pain,  no one...    they think i make * up.   or i should just get over it.      i can't do this anymore....     no one knows,  no one cares,       i really don't want to be like this,...       i can't do this anymore

[Armee]

Hi Larry,


I hope you are sleeping peacefully by now.

I believe you. I don't think you are making stuff up. I think you are really really suffering and it is really hard. So hard.

Get some rest. The morning will be different.

[Blueberry]

Larry, on here we know, we care, we understand. 

I know it's really hard to see when you're in the middle of really hard cptsd times, but things will get better.

Since you've been on the forum, I've seen a change in you and in what you write, I've seen you progressing. Baby steps count here.

[Larry]

i need help ,     i tried,   i don't know how tog et help.       i am so scared,      ...      i don't know what to do.         i have tried to ask for help,   no one hears me.       

[Armee]

Hi Larry. We hear you. I guess the hard thing is...well I feel really helpless and it actually hurts to see you suffer. But we can't get you help only you can. I wonder if others in your life also feel so much pain watching you suffer and not being able to help?

[dollyvee]

Hi Larry,

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I think it's hard to navigate these feelings. Maybe it can be quite profound (and difficult to admit to yourself) that you do need that help in the first place and the drinking is not something you can manage on your own? I know you were upset when the T mentioned it before. I just want to say that there's no shame in admitting it. We're all just doing the best we can with what we have and everyone, everyone copes in different ways, or has coped in the past.

To me, normal is something that takes work and has to be learned. I've learned how to set boundaries and manage my feelings better, and it really sucks that I didn't get to learn that growing up, but I'm learning it now and I owe it to myself to not feel bad about that. There's a lot of grief that comes with it, for the life I never got to have, but I think working through it will help me have the life I do want to have. Even now I'm just learning that there's some really good resources out there on grief.

We do hear you and are listening.
dolly

[Larry]

I have been somewhat ok,  but depression has been really bad.    i try.    i want to be positive.    drinking has been better.    but i still get so depressed i can't get out of bed some days.    i have lost interest in the things i use to enjoy.    i don't want to be negative,  i really am trying to be like everyone else.     i am lost.   

[Larry]

i feel so alone,   i am scared.    i just need someone to talk too

[Larry]

how do i get reall time help,  how can i find someone to talk to now.     tomorrow might be too late.     i really need help

[Armee]

Hi there...You're not alone. 

What's going on?