Hi Kizzie, I didn't take your post as a downer. I took it as an expression of how I actually feel, putting into words what I haven't been able to. Thank you for that.
I think you're right on too, both you and Armee. I have to let go of my salvation fantasy. It's not going to happen. If it was going to, it would have happened 50 years ago. It's a half century to late to be saved from the h3ll that growing up was. So I have to let go of it and make room for new things. That's scary, but I think it's the only option. And Armee is right, trusting that not all people are malevolent is the way to make room for new things.