The root of toxic shame and self abandonment

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Dante

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The root of toxic shame and self abandonment
« on: September 17, 2021, 02:04:17 PM »
I came across something this morning that I thought was interesting (don't ask how I found this). 

In evolutionary biology, according to Wikipedia, "altricial species are those in which the young are underdeveloped at the time of birth, but with the aid of their parents mature after birth".  It goes on to say "Altricial young are born helpless and require care for a length of time".

"Human children, and those of other primates, exemplify a unique combination of altricial and precocial [species whose young are immediately or quickly mobile are called precocial] development. Infants are born with minimal eyesight, compact and fleshy bodies, and "fresh" features (thinner skin, small noses and ears, and scarce hair if any). However, this stage is only brief amongst primates; their offspring soon develop stronger bones, grow in spurts, and quickly mature in features. This unique growth pattern allows for the hasty adaptivity of most simians, as anything learned by children in between their infancy and their adolescence is memorized as instinct." 

This last sentence is what nailed it home for me.  It's why toxic shame and self abandonment when exposed as young children becomes instinct and why it's so $#@! hard to fight it.

And I just have to say that it's absolutely unfair that so many others get to just accept themselves instinctually while I have to devote significant brain cycles just to not self harm.  The wasted potential of what I could have done with that extra energy.  Grrr!

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rainydiary

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Re: The root of toxic shame and self abandonment
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2021, 03:39:36 PM »
Dante, I appreciate you sharing this as it is something I think about a lot. 

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Papa Coco

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Re: The root of toxic shame and self abandonment
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2021, 05:26:46 PM »
Dante,

Great find!  It's piqued my interest with great enthusiasm. I think you've just launched me onto an entirely fresh new research topic!!!!

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BeeKeeper

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Re: The root of toxic shame and self abandonment
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2021, 02:05:45 PM »
Dante,

Thanks for the post! I learned things I didn't know along with vocabulary. So true too and so sad. Understanding is the first step of continued growth.  :thumbup:

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Larry

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Re: The root of toxic shame and self abandonment
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2021, 03:00:12 AM »
i am glad i read this,  i try not to beat myself up for not being like everyone else,  but how can I ?   thank you Dante,  i feel like we share a lot of the same things.