Different thinking styles

[Gromit]

DD was very upset last night and I found her talking to her dad, my OH about it. Then she wanted to speak to me.

From what I gather she is kind of like me, a head full of too many things, all at once, dwelling on things which happened years ago, replaying conversations, scenarios. Completely normal to me, an over thinker.

It prompted me to ask my OH about his thinking styles, he said he was 'black and white' (obviously not realising how bad that is. Not an 'over thinker' but, analytical. See, I consider myself to be very analytical so I am not sure he understands what it means in the same way that I do. I think he means it in a logical mathematical way, however, I do not think he is logical at all. He says he is perceptive but, I find that there is friction at home because he is unable to 'read the room' and work out when people, myself or DD, do not want to be disturbed, asked questions of etc.

All fascinating to me, although my DD does not seem to understand me, they both act as if I talk nonsense. I am really considering being assessed for ADHD especially after my recent attempts to find another job. From what I have discovered so far it seems a very likely explanation for some of my experiences throughout my life, not just my difficulty with job interviews.

I put this here because I wonder if CPTSD impacts thinking skills, or is it something innate, before trauma? How does it effect our relationships? I do not believe the difference is between sexes but there are differences there as well, as far as I can tell.

I need someone else's input before I ramble into incoherence and delete this.

G

[CrackedIce]

A lot of the material I've read on CPTSD would back up what you're saying.  A few things I struggle with myself:

- 'all or none thinking'.  I find I can get really really excited about things, and when they don't happen I crash down hard.  Either I'm going to get everything I was hoping for, or nothing at all.  This bleeds into other things - people are either all good or all bad, experiences are either worth it or not worth it at all, relationships are either great or horrible, etc.

- detachment.  This is where the analytical / mathematical thinking comes into play, seeing things as black or white (a variance of all or none thinking) and things should only make sense from a pure data perspective, not acknowledging the feelings or motivations of others that may be involved.

- the three 'layers' of the mind.  All humans (and mammals to a degree) have three parts of their brain: the lizard brain (core autonomous survival), the emotional brain, and the thinking brain.  The three are literally built upon one another, and have 'barriers' between them that can be activated based on where you're at.  If you're experiencing strong emotions, it impacts your thinking.  If you're experiencing danger, you don't think at all - you just do what you need to keep yourself safe, whether that's fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.  Someone who's grown up in a toxic/dangerous environment when all their neural pathways are first being formed learns and keeps a lower tolerance for the threshold between 'safe' and 'danger', which definitely impacts how you brain thinks and reacts.

There's definitely other factors that play into the development of a person's mind, but C-PTSD or that chronic early threat during development definitely can play a big part.

Hopefully this helps!

[Armee]

It's such a complex web. Biological + trauma + effects of long term stress...

I remember during the pandemic maybe a year in, the New York times ran an article about the effects of longterm stress like the pandemic on brain function. The brain fog. I'll see if I can find it. But people were really mentally feeling the effects of the pandemic in terms of memory loss and executive functioning.

And that is just a tiny fraction of the type and duration of stress we all have lived with often from day 1. I have no doubt I would assess as having ADHD, but I also know that without dealing with the symptoms of cPTSD it actually won't make much difference. It may be cPTSD acting like ADHD or it may be ADHD + cPTSD, but in my case the cPTSD way overrides the ADHD.

My brain was shaped by stress, trauma, and in-utero drug, alcohol, and tobacco  exposure. Further exacerbated by very long term exposure to stress chemicals and chronic dissociation. Untangling this morass will take much more than ADHD treatment. But it actually is starting to happen little bit by little bit.

I don't know if this feels true for everyone here. But for me...well...yeah the thinking problems are very very complex.  ADHD would add a label that might make it easier for people to understand me, but it's just not close to the full picture or even the root cause. Just how it feels for me, personally. It may be really helpful for you to have the assessment and name to put to it. It is easier to talk about and understand.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/24/parenting/quarantine-brain-memory.html

[Gromit]

- detachment.  This is where the analytical / mathematical thinking comes into play, seeing things as black or white (a variance of all or none thinking) and things should only make sense from a pure data perspective, not acknowledging the feelings or motivations of others that may be involved.

I believe this is where my OH is with his thinking. Black and white, right and wrong. In my mind analytical means to analyse motives, feelings, etc, over thinking in a way, although I do like the 12 step slogan of 'keep it simple' because sometimes things are far more simple than people think.

[Gromit]

It's such a complex web. Biological + trauma + effects of long term stress...

I remember during the pandemic maybe a year in, the New York times ran an article about the effects of longterm stress like the pandemic on brain function. The brain fog. I'll see if I can find it. But people were really mentally feeling the effects of the pandemic in terms of memory loss and executive functioning. The main effect on me was forgetting what I had gone to the store for because it was so different in the store, with things not there because of panic buying

And that is just a tiny fraction of the type and duration of stress we all have lived with often from day 1. I have no doubt I would assess as having ADHD, but I also know that without dealing with the symptoms of cPTSD it actually won't make much difference. It may be cPTSD acting like ADHD or it may be ADHD + cPTSD, but in my case the cPTSD way overrides the ADHD.

My brain was shaped by stress, trauma, and in-utero drug, alcohol, and tobacco  exposure. Further exacerbated by very long term exposure to stress chemicals and chronic dissociation. Untangling this morass will take much more than ADHD treatment. At the moment I have no treatment aside from anti-depressants and I am never offered any treatment.But it actually is starting to happen little bit by little bit.

I don't know if this feels true for everyone here. But for me...well...yeah the thinking problems are very very complex.  ADHD would add a label that might make it easier for people to understand me, but it's just not close to the full picture or even the root cause. Just how it feels for me, personally. It may be really helpful for you to have the assessment and name to put to it. It is easier to talk about and understand. Sure, people do not understand CPTSD, they probably do not understand ADHD either but they have some recognition of it and it is counted as a disability here.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/24/parenting/quarantine-brain-memory.html