Learning to heal, Larry's journey

[Larry]

Today is day 4 without alcohol.   Not sure what to do today.   I started looking for a therapist this morning.   I really want to live again.   

[Armee]

Good job Larry! Keep going, I'm rooting for you!

[Larry]

thank you armee !
I have been feeling pretty good.  I think making the decision to stop drinking has taken some pressure off somehow.    Maybe I think things will be better without drinking.   Today is day 5.   I still have some issues to work through.   It is only day 5,  but i feel like alcohol does not control me anymore.   I am working on setting boundaries.    I am learning to feel good about myself without needing someone to reassure me.   This feels so good,  I still get a little depressed,  but i have been fighing through it.   Emotions have been difficult,   it has been hard to stop crying,   it feels like a huge burden has been lifted. 

[Armee]

Painful but crying is good. Way to go...day 5!

[Blueberry]

Day 5! 

[Larry]

i got some sleep last night !   Kind of a big deal for me.   Today is day 7 without alcohol.    having some coffee and going to work soon.   trying to work through the lneliness and depression.   maybe going to the gym after work .

[Armee]

 

Day 7!!!!! Way to go Larry! Keep going!

The loneliness is hard. Out of all the feelings I've had in the past several years the feeling utterly alone was the most crushing.  That feeling left me curled up and sobbing and I rarely cry. You know what helped the most strangely? It was talking to a helpline using the chat function. We're here too.

[Hope67]

Hi Larry,
Wow, that's great. 
Hope that the weekend is ok - sending you some sunshine 
Hope 

[Larry]

the first few days after i quit drinking were great.   I was so happy for myself.  today is day 8,  and i have been fighting off depression and negative thoughts,   also thoughts of self harm.   I want that happy feeling back,   i don't know what happened.   I really don't want a drink,   but i today i kept feeling like it just didn't matter,  and why not just get drunk.   I really need to find a way to be good to myself

[rainydiary]

Thinking of you Larry. 

[Armee]

Alcohol served a purpose and it will take some time to get through what you were masking with alcohol. It will be worth it. It won't be easy. Please love yourself enough to keep going. I'm rooting for you.

[Larry]

thank you rainy and armee,     afriend suggested anti depressants,  im just so afraid of them.  I am going to read about some of them and maybe try something.    today was better,    I have a busy work week scheduled,    maybe that will help.   
Today was day 9 without alcohol,   it feels good saying that. 

[Blueberry]

  Day 9 without alcohol

[Armee]

 

9 days is amazing!

[Larry]

thank you bluebery and armee !