Learning to heal, Larry's journey

[Larry]

thank you rainy !   I had a bit of an emotional meltdown last night,  but i feel much better today,  going to make it a good day !

[sanmagic7]

 

[Larry]

today was nice,   i did drink more than i wanted too,   but i didn't over do it.   i had a good time,  that doesn't seem to happen as much as i would like.   i have a session on tuesday.   my T referred me to a doctor that might help with some meds.    i can't believe i am even considering meds,   but i don't want to use alcohol anymore.   i just want to feel normal

[Moondance]

 

Your doing it - I'm so glad your pushing thru it all

[Larry]

I have been hacing a hard time the last few weeks,   I had a session last week,  my next session is 3 weeks away,   I made an appointment with another doctor,   i want to try some meds,   but the earliest appointment was 5 weeks away.   the only "friend" that i could talk to has not been returning calls or texts.   I feel really hopeless.   the negative thoughts just take over.   i have been looking for some kind of support group.  I live  on a small island,  there is not much here.   i don't know why it is so hard to find a friend,   i am really trying not to hurt myself,   but i don't know what else to do right now

[Armee]

I'm sorry, Larry.  it's not ok to have to go 3 weeks between therapy with what you are dealing with. Will the new T be able to see you more regularly soon? Hang in there for that med appointment. 5 weeks isn't long considering how long you've been going for already. It'll be here before you know it.

[Moondance]

I'm so sorry you are struggling Larry.

My supportive thoughts are with you.

If okay I send you a safe virtual hug 

[Larry]

thank you moondance,   i am just dissappointed right now,   i didn't want to drink today,   i feel like if i don't,  i might do other sh things

[sanmagic7]

hang tough, larry, ok?  one day at a time, just think about getting thru today in the least harmful way possible.  the weeks will take care of themselves - all we have to do is take care of one day, then one day, and so on.  love and hugs

[Larry]

thank you everyone,   I am feeling better,   i don't know what happened,  or why i get that way.

[rainydiary]

It is ok to have ups and downs.  I hope that in the long run they can level out a bit so it doesn't feel so extreme.

[Larry]

thank you rainy 

[Armee]

Thinking of you and hoping you are safe. 

[Larry]

thank you armee,    I have been ok,  trying to break this pattern i seem to get stuck in.   I did some gardening this morning and might go to the gym this afternoon.   sometimes i feel like i have to really work hard to fight off negative thoughts and depression,   I have an appoinment with a doctor on june 19th,   hoping maybe some meds might help even things out a little.

[sanmagic7]

i hope meds will help, larry.  keep fighting.  the ups and downs seem to be kind of normal, no rhyme or reason.  i give you a lot of credit for trying to break unhealthy patterns.  i'm a gardener, too, and find it to bring a sense of grounding.  hang tough, ok?  love and hugs