Learning to heal, Larry's journey

[Larry]

thank you dolly and crane !   My mothers b day is in 3 days,  i'm going to call her,  i hope we can avoid talking about what happened. 
i planted a blackberry bush yesterday.  going to try to make it to the gym again today. 

[Larry]

i got some sleep last night !!    feeling good this morning.   i have a session later today, 

[Larry]

I did some work around the house this morning,  and my session was really good today !    I went to the gym after my session,  and i feel really good right now.   My T suggested working on self care,  and i might try another AA meeting. 

[dollyvee]

 

[Larry]

Hi Dolly,  thank you for being here ! 

I'm going to do my best to make today a great day.   I'm really trying to stay positive and focus on myself without being selfish.   

[Papa Coco]

Hi Larry,

I truly respect the work you're putting in to feeling better. I hope you have a great day today, and that there are even more great days to come.

[Larry]

thank you PC, 
  today was really good,  i went to an AA meeting,  i sat quietly and didn't say anything, i was afraid i would get to emotional.   at the end of the meeting one lady recognised me as being new,  and they gave me a 1 day chip,  everone applauded and congratulated me,  and even hugged me,  it was so hard not to cy,  the amount of acceptance and support was overwhelming.  One of the guys offered to be my sponsor,  and we exchanged numbers.   My T,  and everyone here helped make it possible for encouraging me to go to a meeting.
 
A friend went with me to the first meeting,  and met me before the second meeting to help me mentally prepare.    this would have never happened without the support from all of you.   i can not thank everyone enough !! 

I feel like i have hope again,  and maybe i can be happy and enjoy things again,   i really want this feeling to last !! 

[dollyvee]

Hi Larry,

So proud of you buddy and like Papa Coco said, I admire what you're doing. Cry if you want to. None of us here are going to judge you for it.

You're not alone and there's people you can turn to when you need.

  

Sending you support,
dolly

[Larry]

thank you dolly,   i dont know aht happened ,  but i dont know why i even try.    i just want to give up

[dollyvee]

Hey Larry,

To me, part of the process of healing is going back and understanding what triggered you and looking at how/why/where that happened etc. It sounds as if you were doing good and then something happened, and now you've come to a place where you feel hopeless instead of being able to hold onto some of the good feelings and see that your efforts are not hopeless.

Maybe someone at the meeting, your sponsor, your t, or on here can help you unpack that stuff? It's easy to go from zero to 60, but it also seems like it leads to some dark thoughts. Maybe you can put some speed bumps in there.

Sending you support,
dolly

[Larry]

thank you dolly,   i feel better today,   i'm not sure what made me want to drink yesterday.   i was having lunch with friends,  i think i started feeling left out,  and not accepted.   i have a session on tuesday,  and i hope to make it to a meeting tuesday morning

[Larry]

I had some depression and negative thoughts last night,  but was able to manage things,  and got a little sleep !!   feeling ok this morning,  going to work and hoping to have a good day

[Armee]

So proud of you! That's a huge success! 

[Larry]

thank you armee !!

[Larry]

feeling good this morning,  enjoying some coffee before work.  today is day 3 without a drink.  i have had so many day 1's this month,  might try to go to a meeting tomorrow morning