[Armee]

I appreciate your poetry, Sligeanach.

[sligeanach]

Thank you Armee

[sligeanach]

Never really thought it was poetry, there's this whole idea of poetry that is open mike night and black beret and snapping fingers instead of applause, or else gathered in a circle of folding chairs reading from notebooks

"I have nothing to say
and I am saying it
and that is poetry
as I need it."
John Cage

[Armee]

Your writing is poetic if not poetry. I just reread what you wrote a few down. Remove film stir recover. It made me laugh and is true.

[sligeanach]

Armee that brings me much warmth and smiling inside and out

[sligeanach]

30% through Walker's Surviving to Thriving, Audiobook on Libby. Softly reading hope in horror

[Armee]

More beautiful poetic words.

If you're interested, there are some very poetic memoirs or poetry by cptsd survivors. Joy Harjo, Poet Warrior is one...a memoir mostly in poem form. Adrienne Rich's poetry is also interesting...https://poets.org/poem/diving-wreck

[natureluvr]

Sligeanach, I've read some of your journal.  I just want to say that, for some reason, I'm not sure why, I'm on the verge of tears.  Now, I'm crying. I think what I'm feeling is empathy for you.  I identify so much with the feeling of a lack of safety, and being and feeling alone.  I hope this makes sense.  I'm sending you warmth and understanding in my thoughts.  Safe gentle hugs, if that is OK. 

[sligeanach]

Thank you Armee and natureluvr

So much
So very much

[sligeanach]

It's so much harder than it seems, to change my mind

It's not like changing a tire, or changing a channel

Or it's exactly that, but the car doesn't change its own tires, my feet don't change their shoes

And it's not a channel I've subscribed to yet

I know things, and I know things and I know things,

But all the reading is only "if only"

Then I imagine forgiving and loving my self, and the chthonican worms gnash pierce tear
And their hatred is my hatred, and my teeth are their teeth
Ground down now, years of grinding in my sleep
Years of chewing myself down
To nothing

[natureluvr]

 

[sligeanach]

 

[sligeanach]

Walker putting words to ways
Lost and wondering

Amygdala hijacking
Left AND Right Brain Dissociating
Anger stymied
Crying stifled

Inner Critic cruelly shaming
Censured
Censored

[Armee]

 

Have you gotten far in Walker's book? I haven't been able to read his for some reason. But a line you wrote caught my attention...left and right brain dissociating. Are you able to say more or even provide a chapter where that's talked about? I can actually feel different parts of my brain dissociating. Sometimes it takes out the left sometimes the right sometimes the back sometimes the top sometimes all.