Armee,
I'm so glad you share so well on this forum. Maybe it feels like your trauma voices aren't able to say kind things to yourself, but you have a lot of loving, honest friends on this forum who will speak to those parts on your behalf. And the people on this forum have a great deal of respect for you. I'm glad you can hear us when we tell you that, because it's true.
Even as a very young man, long before I knew I was dealing with trauma, and back when I just assumed I was weak and frail and broken from birth, I used the compliments of others to speak for me. While I was absolutely certain that I was nothing but trash, but others told me I was a good person, I used to say them, "I don't feel it, but I trust you, and you say I'm a good person, so...if you say it, I believe it."
That sentiment carried me for a long time until I was finally able to start saying nice things to myself about myself. Today I'm still not super good at loving myself, but I do gain great support when people who I do respect, respect me back. So, when we, your friends, tell you how much respect we have for you, I hope you are able to hang onto those words. You know us empathetic fawns, when we say we love you, we don't use those words lightly.
This is one way that we C-PTSD folks are stronger when we stick together.
Your kindness and intelligence are right up there with the best of the best. Let our honest evaluations of your greatness as a caring human and a caring healer, carry you until you can begin to feel these truths from within yourself. Your parts can't run too far. And they WANT to be your friend. They're just scared and confused right now. Every part within us really has our best interest at heart. How they behave may seem abandoning, but they're trying to give us what they believe we need to feel safe. They come back when we're ready. We're the captain of the whole ship and they really are trying to help, even when it feels like they're not.
In all the honesty there is in the universe, I'm saying you are freaking AWESOME. I know you're a healer because I've received a lot of healing from you over the past year, and I'll never forget any of it.
We're stronger together.
