Accepting Myself

[Blueberry]

Wanted to write for myself and am met with a bout of exhaustion and blank-brain.

I'm meant to be finishing my translation in fact I was planning to on the weekend but am always finding something else to do - roaming around the Internet for the past couple of hours and during the day running various important errands and doing the housework. I did do a little translation in the morning - 10 minutes or so - and phoned somebody who's going to help me with the finishing touches but she can't do that till tomorrow after all. Knowing I can't really concentrate I went and did the housework mentioned above because that gets me out of my intellectual head and gives my intellectual brain a rest. But now it's really time I went back to that work. I'd rather respond to posts on here, lol, or even go and do some EFT.

[Blueberry]

Finally finished my translation and the invoice. Pays the office rent for this month. I never know in advance with this particular type of translation exactly how much I can charge until after it's done (because it's based on number of characters in the translated text). It's a bit more than I'd envisaged which is nice.

So once it's all done, I catch myself thinking - nice lot of money, wasn't so bad after all. At least some Part thinks that. Another:  the last translation for a good while! At least till end March I can promise all those Parts who need a break but I think it needs to be longer and will be longer. There appears to be one Part who has difficulty with a hard and fast rule about it and especially with making a rule over a good length of time.

Yesterday or the day before I caught myself thinking that I could do the easiest certified translation around if any crop up in January onwards but my occup. T reminded me that my written contract to myself and Parts of a break until end December was a compromise, really I need to extend that break. It was good he reminded me of that! He, and all my Parts who desperately want a break, are correct too. As I wrote in previous para, at least in my head I can 'agree' to end of March even if not yet written into contract. Today I used my professional certified stamp for the last time for however long but probably forever and I noticed that kind of tugs at my heart. I wrote down in trauma T last week what to do about that. My brain is blank but I can check my paper Journal and work on that 'some time' in the near future, maybe even tomorrow.

I still have to write a sort of cover letter for the translation and invoice but that'll be tomorrow morning, along with delivering the translation in person.

My neighbour in the apt beside mine has to move out now because of the state of ceiling below his apt, which is storage area at present but I think will contain the new heating system. It has to be done anyway. So I'm just kind of waiting for them to find that I have to leave my apt after all before Christmas . At least I know my rights now! Still fighting for them is strenuous and I could do without that. Also found out that some time in the new year when I'll have to move out temporarily though possibly not with all my stuff, I'm going to lose a few metres of my apt because they have to put an elevator shaft in beside the stairs and the shaft will be going thru my apt. Great, even less space to move my office stuff into. So it's all remaining a little bit up in the air which is a bit unsettling. But at least I'm doing better today than I was even  a couple of days ago. Throwing stuff out again, taught both students well today. Caught up on my invoices for their parents.

[Blueberry]

  'cover letter' for translation and translation itself delivered hours ago. Done! Gone! What a relief.

Since yesterday I've been doing well getting rid of stuff, or at least getting stuff into piles to go various places. A friend came by today and took about 20 digital photos for me so I can sell stuff online and I plan to have a few 'rummage sales' in my office at set times where local people can drop by, try clothing on, look at books etc and hopefully buy some things. This friend took a few things she could use too. 

[Hope67]

   That is great Blueberry.   
Hope 

[CactusFlower]

  Congrats, blueberry! Lightening the load, physically AND mentally.

[rainydiary]

 

[Armee]

 :cheer:congratulations!!!!

[Blueberry]

Thank you all for cheering me on! That helps me remember that soon I'll feel better than I do today. I've had a funny headache for a couple of days now - over my right eye. I don't think it's migraine because that's not something I get.

Today's been hard as I realise a) that there's no way I can stay in this apt and b) once I move out it won't be temporary. There'll be no coming back. Because LL doesn't want that. And c) for the moment smaller apts are out of the question - I still have too much stuff including my furbabies and their large accommodation as well as my office stuff that I'm not ready to get rid of. Some yes, but not the bulk. Also too much to move back in with once I've left and the place has been renovated and modernised because of the elevator shaft going thru my apt - I'll be losing some space.

Need to talk to tenant's rights again.

[sanmagic7]

congrats on finishing that translation, blueberry!!!   

i think you are doing an amazing job of taking care of things, talking to who you need to talk to about your rights, dealing w/ students and their paperwork, etc.  as i was reading it came to mind that i just couldn't live on my own anymore, so it occurred to me how well you're doing w/ it.  congrats on that, too.

moving . . .  i can't fathom it anymore.  just gonna send you love and a hug filled w/ support for all your undertakings.

[Blueberry]

Thanks san! It's such a relief that the translation is done. Translation is now gone from my head as it were. It was obviously time to give up. Not much of me (not many Parts that is) is missing it.

This evening I went to choir and sang what I could and mouthed the rest. I also got 2 men 'booked' for the move from my office into my apt, so that's a relief, so long as it all works out. It'll be before Christmas and then my apt will be very full, but I'll still have my office till end of Dec. for sitting in sorting thru things esp. papers and throwing stuff out. Also for putting up my washing racks and drying my washing, which will help space-wise for a little while.

A couple of days ago - Friday probably - was quite funny! The inpatient place I was in till May phoned to offer me a spot! I am on the waiting list for another bout in 2023 but I was taken aback because I was told I shouldn't come back for at least another 12 months! Anyway I've put off till summer 2023 because it really isn't a good time till all this toing and froing with my living space is sorted out.

[rainydiary]

Best wishes as you navigate the transitions.

[CactusFlower]

Gentle hugs, Blueberry. Here's hoping the moving goes as smoothly as possible. You have a lot to do and think about, but I admire your strength in getting it done. Peace to you.

[Blueberry]

Thank you rainydiary and CF  I got going fairly well on paper-sorting this morning prior to occup. T. But then that got cancelled. The good thing is that I now can go over to a friend's and finally have a shower, ie. I have time for that today since I didn't do it yesterday as planned.

Yeah the move - when I look at the amount of furniture - hm. This move isn't going to be easy. Oh well bit by bit, step by step.

[Armee]

Blueberry just wanted to say I'm really proud of you. You're managing really well all things considered.

[Blueberry]

Thank you Armee   tbh it doesn't feel that way today. Just roaming around the Internet and not really getting on with things at all. Spent the past couple of days eating, none too healthily either.

Zoning out thinking of FOO and zoning out with thoughts of moving office furniture into a very messy apartment this coming Monday or Wednesday. A friend's h is helping and the stressful thing is that he tends to be late. Have to organise that round two other helpers. Definitely stressful for me. Had better go and get on with some stuff though.