Not Alone: 2022

[littlebluejay]

Hi Notalone, i am so sorry to hear about your divorce and all the awful things that come with it. Divorce is awful even in the best circumstances, and it sounds like yours has been a really excruciating journey. I'm sorry And I'm so sorry with how unfair the law is in this. You deserve better. Here's a warm hug, if you would like one. We are with you 

[Blueberry]

I'm sorry that you're going to lose financially Notalone. It's not fair. May I be angry on your behalf?

I'm also sorry about the situation with the friend and the group she is part of, that makes the situation more difficult. I'm sorry the whole situation makes your Littles scared. My Little Blueberries understand and are sad for your Littles. I appreciate and respect that you're not going into details on here.

[Not Alone]

littlebluejay, I appreciate your kindness and the hug.

Blueberry, Thank you for your compassion and for your anger on my behalf. I appreciate Little Blueberries care and understanding.

[Armee]

 

[Not Alone]

Back to you, Armee. 

[Armee]

Your situation has been playing in my mind and it really is making me feel anger, not just for you but also generally. It's not fair thar you raised the children essentially providing free labor and now get less because of that. I'm sorry the law doesnt provide more help. 

[Blueberry]

 

If I may say so, I wish your H had more understanding and appreciation of what you did for him and his children and that that appreciation turned into more reasonableness and dollars!

[Not Alone]

Thank, Armee & Blueberry. I needed to hear your anger on my behalf right now. H is backpedaling on his word that I would get more money. Not a surprise. As he has always done, he sees things the way he wants to see them.

Today he filed (correctly). We have a court date in April. H said sheriff will come to the house and serve me papers. That is really triggering. Grrrrrrr.

[Armee]

So he's not just avoidant he's also something else I'm not supposed to say here.

[rainydiary]

Thinking of you. 

[Bach]

Sending care and thoughts 

[sanmagic7]

notalone, may i share some extra anger toward your situation?  i hate what you're going thru, hate what your H is doing, and hate that you've been in this situation at all! 

you don't deserve this, but i also see you doing what needs to be done and weathering this storm w/ grace and perseverance.  sending love and a hug filled w/ strength and a trigger blaster for when you're served w/ the papers.

[Blueberry]

So he's not just avoidant he's also something else I'm not supposed to say here.

He sounds like a liar, which we are allowed to say.

Sorry Notalone, I hope that's not too blunt. I'll remove it if it is.

[Not Alone]

Armee, Your anger on my behalf gives me strength.

Rainy, Thank you for your thoughts and support.

San, I feel your care and strength in your anger. I feel more like I'm stumbling blindly through this journey of divorce. For now I'll hold your words, "grace and perseverance," and wonder, "Hmm, is that true?" I'm feeling the love and strength of your hug.

Blueberry, no, not too blunt. I've asked myself why I can't be that blunt. Even in my private journal I wrote "backpedaling." I haven't come up with an answer yet.


The sheriff came to the house when I was at work. My son signed for the papers. H had not given him warning that the sheriff would be coming to the house. I didn't either, although I didn't expect it to happen that soon. I also feel like that is more of my H's responsibility.

I made one small step in my divorce "to do" list today. I opened a checking account. Banks are triggering to one of my Littles, so if things hadn't gone well, it could have been upsetting. The banker who assisted me was respectful of my questions (no attitude of: doesn't everyone know that?) and helpful. A staff member is also going to contact someone for me to meet to discuss a morgage. 

I am immensely grateful for the support that I am receiving from many people.

[Blueberry]

Blueberry, no, not too blunt. I've asked myself why I can't be that blunt. Even in my private journal I wrote "backpedaling." I haven't come up with an answer yet.

I can kind of imagine why I might react the same way if the tables were reversed actually.

Oh man, the sheriff came to the house? I would have found that upsetting so maybe good you were at work. I would've thought telling your children would be more H's responsibility too.

Congrats on opening a checking account   Getting one step accomplished. Step by step. Great that you got a respectful banker too! And that you're getting lots of support. I did for my move and it was so helpful. So I feel extra specially glad that people are helping you in your time of need too